Slang For Hair?

First of all, I am in total awe that Perez Hilton blogs as much as he does.  Since I have "gotten with the blogging program" and joined Web 2.0 there are days I have blogged literally for hours planted in the best Feng Shui Daily Direction with my notebook popped open, my iPhone in its black Croclike cover standing up next to it and headphones on jamming to whatever.  There I am typing, typing, typing until my arms ache, my fingertips hurt and I feel like I was run over by a truck.

I still don't stop.  I stumble into the nearest kitchen (work or home) and fill up on Evian or coffee from Starbucks and then I'm back.

My problem isn't running out of stuff to blog about.  Nope, I have enough blogs in my head for at least two more years of daily blogs.  My problem is getting everything written as fast as I want to write it.  Of course there are the other problems of eating, sleeping and trying to fend off my HairBoutique.com team members who for some odd reason want my attention.

Seriously, how does Perez do it?  Does he have ginormous blog dogs who sit growling at his feet and bite anyone who tries to get him to stop blogging?  Or does he lock himself away in an abandoned building much like J.F. Sebastian lived in the 1982 film Blade Runner complete with tiny robots who bring him food and water when he need it?  If so, I'm jealous.

Even more intriguing, how does Perez create all those great slang names becoming a star lingweenist and certainly world class in bloglish?   I was reading an article about that very topic (slang) in The Times.

Author and culture critic Mary Elizabeth Williams was quoted in the article (about Webspeak) as saying “we web geeks like to come up with what’s going to be the better, funnier, more outrageous term.”

“Slang is language with its hair down,” says Williams. “We’re so divided in so many ways — over language, over making English the official language, over how we speak it — and meanwhile, on this level of discourse we’re finding these really funny, adorable, affecting, clever ways of getting over that, having a laugh, and finding some common ground.”

Which of course got me to thinking.  What type of slang is on the web for hair?  Seriously what hair words are out there?

Taking a page out of the Perez Hilton Webslang book we could say there are HairDivaRetards which plays off on his celebretard for idiot celebs.  The HairDivaRetards could define hair divas that act like idiots.  OK, it sounds lame but it's definitely in keeping with PerezBlogSpeak.

How about some other hair slang words?

After pondering for awhile I came up with the following words:

Tressalicious might work for those with sexy tresses.  Of course you can have Tresstastic for fantastic tresses or even Tresstard for a retarded Tressdo.

Moving into the celebrity hair world you might see CelebHairZillas or CelebHairDiveristas which could define celebrity hair icons such as Paris Hilton types throwing a temper tantrum at the hair salon or celebrity hair freaks being divas.

Unfortunately the term Celebrity Hairdresser doesn't blend well with the normal Bloggerize prefixes or suffixes because the term is already extended. 

CelebHeadDressarista is a little long and clumsy.  Furthermore, does it mean a celebrity hairdresser or a stylist who dresses celebs?

CelebHeadrista might work for celebrity hairdressers but the word doesn't exactly roll off your tongue like Perez' Glamazon.   CelebStylrista might refer to a celebrity stylist instead of a Celebrity Hairdresser.

Celebtresser could definitely refer to anyone that works with the tresses of a celeb.  Using PerezSpeak a Celebtresstard would be an idiot celebrity hairdresser.

Other hair related slang could potentially include Hairtastic which is similar to Tresstastic but it has potential legs as does Hairalicious. Both refer to gorgeous hair.

HairHack, Hairwrecker and HairToad might refer to those hair dressers that give you a long term bad hair day or create CrazyCoiffs like the Hairnados worn recently by some celebrities at the Golden Globes who looked like their hair was swept up in a passing tornado.  Of course you could also call them Hairicanes.

I guess the key to really creating some blogilicious slang is to put yourself in a happy mood and let your mind go to places a normal person wouldn't dare travel to.  It that doesn't work, a pitcher of margaritas could certainly do the trick.

In the meantime, I will be trying out some of the hair slang words to see how they roll.  If you have any of your own favs, please let me know because I'm sure I'm missing a few.