I will be the first to admit that I am a long hair junkie. Not only because I have long hair but because I believe that anyone with gorgeous healthy long hair is walking around with a work of art cascading from their heads.
As a result I gawk, stare and admire from afar. Sometimes I will ask my guy how my own long hair compares and he will roll his eyes because he isn't a long hair addict like me.
At one point I actually attended a gathering of long haired friends and we spend the entire time talking about our hair care routines, products and even long hair specialists.
We were totally oblivious to the table of cute guys behind us who were at various points trying to get the attention of all those long hair ladies hanging out and drinking margaritas. And yes, we debated the merits of drinking alcohol on our strands but hey, sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
A friend recently asked me how to tell if they were a long hair addict or not and I put together a list of the most common symptoms.
Whether you have long hair, want to have long hair or just love to look at long hair, check out the lists below.
Note: Please note that this article is written in a light hearted manner and is not intended to offend anyone reading it.
Long Hair Addiction Symptoms
1. You can easily list all the current celebrities with "natural" long tresses (Jane Seymour, Crystal Gayle) and ignore those with obvious extensions. 2. You have all the URLS for the long hair message boards or article sections saved to your favorites on your PC (Hairboutique.com's Long Hair Talk Forum, Franks' Long Hair site, The Long Hair Community, Long Hair Loom, Long Hair Lovers, Victor's Long Hair Site For Men). 3. You know the detailed histories of when all the long hair sites were started on the web and by whom. You even know all the various politics behind each site. 4. Your refrigerator is stuffed full of eggs, milk and oils (Monoi, Coconut, Jojoba (that you'd never eat because you use them on your head instead of for your stomach). 5. Every morning you whip up a special protein drink and pop your HairTopia hair vitamin pills followed by your other carefully researched pills to help your hair grow longer and healthier. 6. You travel everywhere with a small "long hair trimming approved" scissors so that you can search and destroy any split ends you might find at any times.
7. You've been known to whip out your trimming scissors in public places, while driving your car with a "long hair friendly" headrest (that won't rip and snag delicate strands) and even in the middle of a movie theater. 8. You had fights with friends, family and significant others because they didn't understand your dedication and devotion to the preservation, maintenance and enhancement of your long strands. 9. You can debate for hours on the differences between Mason Pearson, Kent and any other types of boar's bristle brushes. 10. The labels you study at the grocery store are only on hair care products. You worry more about "cones" than you do carbs. 11. You own tons of horse care products but have never owned a horse. In fact, you have never seen a horse up close. 12. You have a complete collection of heat caps in assorted colors and styles. 13. You have secret dreams of finding a significant other with beautiful long strands that you can brush and play with for hours. Or you dream of finding a significant other that will do the same for your long strands. 14. You forget to weigh but you never miss your hair measuring date and religiously record the latest measurements in your long hair diary which you guard with your life. 15. You blog about your long hair and/or your read every blog you can find about long hair. 16. You own more long hair toys than shoes. 17. You've been known to follow long haired goddesses and gods for blocks before snapping to your senses.
Long Hair Addiction Cures
1. Join the fan clubs for all your favorite long haired celebrities so you can track their latest long hair happenings. 2. Visit all the long hair focused websites on the Internet that are listed in your Favorites List. Afterall, they're free and you can made friends with other long hair addicts. 3. Write a fan email to all the original long hair website founders but avoid all stalking behaviors. 4. Vow to eat more egg omelets to avoid long term guilt over all those eggs and cartons of milk in your fridge. 5. Keep drinking those protein mixes and taking those vitamins. They're good for your overall health, regardless of how they help your hair. 6. Never travel with your trusty trimming scissors when you have to go through airline security. They'll be confiscated every time. 7. Never trim while you drive, drink or eat. 8. Write up your own personal bill of Long Hair Rights and hand out to any family members or friends who hassle your long hair devotion. Create a list of all the advantages your long tresses provide (channel Rapunzel and her hair ladder concept).
9. Write up all the pros and cons of the various "long hair friendly" brushes in your blog. You do have one after all. If you seriously don't, what a great topic to start one with. 10. Buy a carb counter booklet to relieve any guilt. 11. Visit a horse farm and make nice with the horses. 12. Invite long haired friends over to show off your heat cap collection. 13. Join Match.com (if you're really available) and advertise your long hair partnership requirements or start a journal that you keep under lock and key from your current sweetie. 14. Weighing is dangerous to your mental health. Avoid it like the plague. 15. Blog more often and add images of your gorgeous long hair. 16. Separate the hair toys you haven't work for awhile and have a long hair toy party or swap meet for your long haired friends> 17. Always wear dark glasses and have a exit strategy in mind when trailing after heads of gorgeous long hair.
Is there any hope for your addiction? Not really, so just enjoy. After all, there is no danger of being arrested for driving under the influence of long hair adoration. Just to be safe, you may want to refrain from trimming those split ends while tooling down the highway. And of course, use common sense with all your long hair addictive behaviors.
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