Don't get me wrong. I adore "The Donald". Did I care that New York City is upset because of his blatant hanging banner violations advertising NBC's The Apprentice reality hit on Trump Tower? Absolutely not.
(Image - NBC - The Apprentice - all rights reserved).
Was I stewed about the fact that Donald fired all my favorites on the how? Nope again.
What I do care about is The Donald's do. Who knew that a man so charismatic, powerful and brilliant would have such a, should I dare to say, distinctive hairstyle?. Geez, from the very first airing of the blockbuster reality business hit I have been bombarded with people asking me whaddsup with Mr. Trump's comb-over.
Luckily its not just me talking about his strands, which Donald pointed out in a windy Apprentice segment, is 100% all his own hair. I was actually disappointed that The Donald's tresses were not the result of a bad rug. In some respects it would have been better if the puffy cotton candy hued strands were artificial. It would simplify his much needed extreme strand makeover.
Everyone Is Talking About That Hair
Not only are fans talking about the short napkin skirts of the female Apprentices, they are talking about that odd comb-over style on the big man.
David Letterman, whose dreams of ever being on a future Apprentice, were probably dashed when he created one of his famous Top Ten Lists specifically for Mr. Trump's strands. The winning phrase in the number one slot was "Taj Ma-helmet". In reality, Dave actually flipped over Donald's hair back in 2002 when he created his first list dedicated to Trump Tresses.
Not to be outdone by Letterman, Jay Leno also found a way to weave - no pun intended, the Trump Tresses into his nightly monologue indicating that between Pete Rose, Donald Trump and Al Sharpton, the Tonight show had experienced excessive hairdresser turnover.
Access Hollywood took on Donald's, hotly discussed tresses with an instant makeover transforming the overly tousled comb-over into a hot slicked-back blonde style.
No Hairdresser To Blame
So how does Donald feel about all the fuss over his head? Apparently the billionaire businessman is aware of the flap over his style and appears unconcerned as long as it doesn't impact ratings.
In the March 15, 2004 US Weekly Donald made the Loose Talk column with a timely and interesting quote "I don't say my hair is my greatest strength in the world, but it's not terrible".
Ya think? And no, Donald doesn't have some misguided celebrity hairdresser who has coiffed him this way.
In an interview with USA Today, The Donald confessed that he has "never had a stylist". Really? Someone has to cut the man's hair after all. Trump also commented that the lack of stylist may be part of his problem, although he was very clear on the fact that the Queer Eye for the Straight Guys are not at the top of his list to call for help. Donald has commented that he is not "particularly thrilled" with the Queer Guys hair.
Going To Extremes
One thing I'm constantly asked is what I would recommend for Donald's do? If ratings is what Mr. Trump lusts for, I would recommend a walk on the wild hair side. You may be thinking that Donald couldn't go any wilder, but you're wrong.
To divert attention from his current cotton candy swirl I would suggest that he crank up his color to embrace a Kelly Osbourne style pink. Manic Panic, another well known New York mainstay, has a fabulous Cotton Candy Pink shade. When applied after Flash Lightening Bleach The Donald would give new meaning to the term, eye candy. If he preferred to tone it down a bit, Donald could opt instead for Hot Hot Pink (one of my own favorites).
A perfect compliment to his newly pink tresses would he an ultimate white trash bona fide Mullet haircut. Talk about rocketing ratings. Just imagine Donald firing one of the apprentices with a perfectly coiffed Mullet, short in front while hugging the back of his neck. To suck up, his apprentice wannabes could gift him with Mullet hair care products and offer him tips on mullet-primping. I smell a book in there somewhere.
Of course The Donald would also look totally happening with a full blown set of dreadlocks. He would wax poetic about business while absent mindedly twisting his locks.
If none of those suggested styles appealed, he could go the opposite direction and don a Mr. T shaved head look. Or he could do a Bruce Willis completely bald pate but offset it with manly caps.
But Seriously Oprah
In all seriousness, The Donald is a hot looking guy. He has gorgeous eyes that would great with a Brad Pitt or Hugh Grant ruffled shorter style that directed attention to those baby blues and handsome face. Unfortunately we don't exactly know what the real shape of Donald's hair is under his swirled flap. Many men wear a comb-over to hide thinning or a receding hairline. Even so, a short chic style ala Justin Timberlake would be very sexy.
One thing to consider is how popular hair extensions are for men. Whether adding hair to increase fullness and disguise softer hairline or to add length, professionally attached extensions can make an amazing difference. Donald could transform to a Colin Farrell or Orlando Bloom style with a little help form a bag of strands.
I would definitely hook The Donald up with hair magician Ken Paves, the wizard behind Jessica Simpson's amazing array of hair extension looks and strand man on Oprah's TV makeover shows.
The Trumpster could be a Paves hair project on one of Oprah's makeover shows. Not only would the ratings be amazing, The Donald would be a work of TV hair art. (Hello Oprah - are you listening?)
Although I have to admit I am fascinated by his current color which actually look like a cross between cotton candy and candy corn, I would also recommend that celebrity hair colorist Rita Hazan, another Oprah makeover guru, fix him up with her famous color formulas.
With Oprah, Ken and Rita making over The Donald, he would look absolutely fabulous. I gawrantee it!