Cellphone Intervention Is Only A Patch Away Give The Gift That Will Leave Them Speechless
A new sickness is sweeping the celluloid set, and it isn't Swine Flu or Scientology. It's Cerebral Cellutosis, and it's trickled down to the masses at an alarming rate of infection, threatening to tear apart the very fabric of our social and cultural foundation.
(Image of Cerebral Cellutosis - All Rights Reserved)
Afraid to be in the car with a knee-driving, email-reading, text-and-talking driver? Don't just sit back and watch a cellular meltdown, give the gift of Cell-R-Derm QT this Holiday season - the ultimate solution for obsessive cell phone usage!
A distant cousin of halitosis, Cerebral Cellutosis is like bad breath of the brain. You may know someone close to you who started out, a number of years ago, denouncing cell phones as being single-handedly responsible for alienating people to where there are no public boundaries.
Then one day, buckling under intensifying social pressure and widespread coverage of celebs on cells, they caved and picked one up "for emergencies only."
The next thing they knew, "emergencies" entailed bitching about Georgina on "Gossip Girl," swollen fingertips from emailing, texting and epic bouts of Android and Solitaire, or causing four-lane pileups because it's just hard to read inane emails without swerving.
If this sounds familiar, someone you love may be suffering from Cerebral Cellutosis, but don't despair - Cell-R-Derm QT is easy-to-use and works instantly!
How It Works:
A patch applied to the "usage zone," the temple or neck area, works using Stopnology Theory Decoding, or STD. The first and only STD you'll ever want to get for yourself or give to someone you cherish, it utilizes a multifaceted blend of one-to-one electron inhibitors that break the megahertz cycle emitted by low frequency devices such as cell phones.*
In addition to optimal effectiveness, research indicates the cessation process is aided when others can see you are trying to quit. People are generally more tolerant of your irritability when they know you're "on the patch."
Nothing leaves the impression of "it's me or the cell" like Cell-R-Derm QT. So if you're looking for the perfect gift for the person who has everything - including cellular addiction - Cell-R-Derm QT is guaranteed to leave them speechless!
Price: $12.99 (includes 13 patches)
*Please note: none of this was tested anywhere, as this is a just a fun gag gift for the Holidays.
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