Unless you were living in a cave, you probably heard how Chris Brown allegedly beat up Rhianna which resulted in his arrest and charges being levied against him.
(Image of Rhianna - HBM - All Rights Reserved).
According to Rhianna insiders, Chris Brown allegedly had been verbally, mentally and physically abusing Rhianna before the final incident where the police were actually called and the singer was found bleeding.
Diane Sawyer did an interview on Friday morning (May 8, 2009) on Good Morning America with Connie Culp, the woman whose husband literally shot her face off when he leveled a shotgun at her. Her husband had been attempting a murder/suicide plan to kill Connie and then turn the shotgun on himself. Although Connie was left horribly disfigured, her husband survived virtually unharmed and went to jail instead.
All of the major talk show hosts ranging from Oprah and Tyra have talked about the dangers of men verbally, mentally or physically abusing the women in their life. No it's not okay for a man to call his woman names, to shout at her, or even to scream at her to "shut the F up". That is not OK. Never, ever. When that happens it is a first warning sign for a women because verbal abuse often leads to physical and mental abuse.
When a man verbally abused a woman by yelling at her or punishing her in some way, for just being who she is, that women needs to leave that man pronto or give immediate intervention from a counselor. If a therapist does not interceded that woman needs to leave.
How do I know all this? Of course I have been watching the news, but I grew up with an extremely abusive parent who started with screaming and temper outburst and eventually accelerated to mental and physical violence. Why? Because she was who she was.
It took me years to understand that her temper outbursts and screaming were her deal and not about me, but regardless, that is a hard thing to experience and grow up with. I am grateful that after years of therapy I have managed to escape that family of origin disfunctionality.
I also had a romantic partner when I was in my early 20s who would scream at me. And yes, it accelerated into other forms of abuse. Luckily I left that situation as soon as the abuse accelerated and was very lucky to eventually find a husband who never abused me in any way for 25 years until his sudden death four years ago. He was a true gentleman and even when he got angry, which all humans do, he rarely raised his voice to me. If he did (which almost never happened), he immediately apologized.
It makes me sad whenever I see a man disrespect a woman in any way by screaming at her, telling her to shut up or talking to her in any way other than with respect. No person or child ever deserves to be treated that way. No matter what.
Although the Rhianna situation upset me greatly, seeing Connie Culp and hearing her story of the verbal, mental and ultimately physical abuse that she went through, was heart breaking and made me vow to always do my best to support anyone who needs help leaving an abusive situation of any kind. I hope you will all do the same and support any woman who is the victim of verbal, mental or physical abuse.
As Ali Wentworth pointed out on Friday's Oprah, if a man threatens you, take it seriously. Even if it is just verbal at the time.
Connie Culp is an amazing and brave woman. So is Rhianna who has apparently left Chris Brown. I wish both women well.
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