JerkyFlea: September 1999

JerkyFlea: September 1999

Author: JerkyFlea

Date: September 1999

Fleature: 
The Emmys
Ok, if you've been waiting patiently for my review of Emmy hair, here it finally is.  If you haven't been counting the moments until I dispensed my pronouncements on what was good and bad at this year's awards, then I'll assume that you've been distracted by far more important things, like, I dunno, actually having a life.  Not that I'm saying my loyal readers don't have a life.  What I mean is...ah, nevermind.  I'm already too deep in this hole.  On to the reviews...
Best Hair

JULIANNA MARGUILLES looked stunning in with her brunette curls styled into sexy waves that fell to mid-back.  Pulling it back so as not to hide her face, but allowing it to spill forward over her shoulders was an especially nice touch.  Sure, it was almost exactly what Catherine Zeta-Jones did at the Oscars (with the exception of the curls), but hey, a great idea is a great idea.  Oh, and if you are wondering, I'm 90% sure that was all Julianna's own hair and no extensions.

As I said in the Updates section, I couldn't have been more wrong about KRISTEN JOHNSON's new shorter cut.  The style combined with her new lighter color looked fantastic on her.  Absolutely no suprise at all that many thought she was the best looking star of the night.  Doesn't change the fact that her Supporting Actress in a Comedy Emmy should have gone to "Ally McBeal"'s Lucy Lui though.

Speaking of LUCY LIU, her sophisticated updo was one of the very few of the evening.  Most were piles of curls, messily (and not always attractively) pulled back in a sloppy bun of some sort.  Others were just glorified ponytails.  It was nice to see that Lucy went the glamourous route and even nicer to see how well she pulled it off.
 
 
 

As long as I'm talking about "Ally McBeal" stars, I have to give credit to JANE KRAKOWSKI.  Jane has terrific natural blonde curls that she always seems to wear well, albeit simply.  Despite that consistency (or possibly even because of it), she almost never gets credit for having some of the best hair in primetime...even by yours truly.  In an effort to remedy that lack of appreciation, I have to compliment Jane on once again taming her blonde locks into another simple, yet very flattering style for The Emmys.  There.  I feel better now.

Lastly, someone who DOES get a lot of credit (and deservedly so), is DEBRA MESSING.  Did Debra do anything special to her hair for the awards?  Nope, not as far as I can tell.  But when your hair looks this spectacular on a day-to-day basis, just how much more special to you have to make it?  In Debra's case, none.

 

Honorable Mentions

In case you thought you saw Julianna come up the red carpet twice during the Emmy arrivals, you didn't.  The second Catherine Zeta-Jone wannabe (more on that later) was KIM DELANEY.  Kim also looked  good, but wasn't able to pull the look off nearly as well as Julianna.  I think her hair was just a bit TOO messy v LARA FLYNN BOYLE looked elegant with her hair pulled back in a tight French twist.  Why isn't she in the Best Hair section then?  Because this style was just as elegant when she wore it last year.  Heck, her dress was amost even identical.

HALLE BERRY's crop was great, but I'm still annoyed with her for cutting it all off again in the first place.  This is one of the few ways at my disposal to show my displeasure.  Sad, eh? v Finally, we come to GLORIA REUBEN of "ER".  Though she essentially just pulled her curls back behind her ears in a pseudo-ponytail and just let them go wild, it was quite pretty on her.    Best explanation I can give is that it looked even better because it was something that theoretically shouldn't have worked, but turned out even more successful than originally imagined.


 
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Worst Hair

(NOTE: I know I normally don't do this, but some of the celebs really went above and beyond this year.  It's like they were taunting me.  Like I'm going to let THAT go...)

You know, SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR would've had an excellent shot at making the Best Hair (or at least Honorable Mention) list if she just hadn't added that ponytail.  Just look at the picture on the left: sharply and smoothly pulled back in a tight bun.  An uncomplicated and sophisticated style.  Now look at the picture to the right: A day-glo yellow, waist-length fake ponytail.  How hard would it have been to have the ponytail match the rest of her hair for crying out loud?  Want to know what makes it even worse?  SMG dropped $3000 (yup, that's I heard, 3 and three zeros) on the ponytail, just "to keep the hair out of (her) face".  That alone puts her to the top of the Worst Hair list.

Next we have LISA NICOLE CARSON of "Ally McBeal".  If you remember I criticized her at the Golden Globes for going with the bad 70s feathered look.  Well, I guess I should be happy that she's gone more natural, but she could have done something to have calmed the fullness down a bit.  All that volume with that length and layering makes her head look like a football.  And I don't mean that in a good way.

There have been a couple of articles praising JENNIFER ANISTON's pseudo-dreadlocks at this year's awards.  This will not be one of them.  To me, it looked as though Jennifer had a particularly rought night of tossing and turning, resulting in her naturally curly tresses tangling in snarled knots.  This explanation is, of course, contradicted by the fact that she meant to appear as though her hair was styled by a Cuisinart.

Continuing on the theme of the unruly, wavy mess, we have JERI RYAN, best known as Seven of Nine to every lusting male Star Trek fan out there.  What makes Jeri's hair such a disappointment is that she has always worn it so beautifully at these type of events in the past, either pulling it back or leaving it down styled smooth or with soft waves.  To me, that makes it even more inexplicable as to why she joined Jennifer Aniston in looking like her hair was style with a Garden Weasel.

 

Dishonorable Mentions

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  A member of last year's Best Hair on TV list, now PATRICIA HEATON shows up on my worst list (albeit in the milder section).  Her tousled curls weren't the problem, but the waist-length extensions tacked on the back exaggerating the effect were.  Tiny woman, WAY too much hair v Another of the curly haired women of "ER" (geez, they do have a lot of them, don't they?), ALEX KINGSTON, showed how, in the wrong hands, the style that got Gloria Reuben on the Honorable Mention list can easily go the other way.  Instead of ready for the awards, she appears to be ready to go plant stuff in the backyard 

MICHELLE WILLIAMS has let her hair grow out from the crop she had at the beginning of last season's "Dawson's Creek".  I said last year that I thought looked better short and if this is the way she's going to use the extra length, then she's making my case for me.  The chunky pseudo-dreds don't really work for anyone and they are even worse on shorter hair...which, I think, is pretty darn obvious v Lastly, we have CHRISTINA APPLEGATE.  Christina's hair didn't look bad, but it was just sorta there.  Hey, it's The Emmys, for Pete's sake.  What does she have coming up bigger than this that would actually warrant getting her hair done?

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And finally...

...if you were doubting me about the Catherine Zeta-Jones connection with Julianna Marguilles and Kim Delany, check out the comparison pictures below:

Pretty amazing, huh?  I have to say, though, she who did it first, still did it best...though Julianna makes a darn convincing argument to the contrary. J

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Agree?  Disagree?  Want an opinion on someone I left out?  Post to the Celebrity Hair Spray board or drop me a line at [email protected]

Julianna Marguilles, Kristen Johnson and Lucy Liu pictures courtesy Reuters,  Jane Krakowski picture courtesy Fashion Dish, Debra Messing, Kim Delaney pictures courtesy UltimateTV, Lara Flynn Boyle picture courtesy Entertaiment Asylum, Halle Berry picture courtesy ET Online, Gloria Reuben picture courtesy Reuters, Sarah Michelle Gellar pictures courtesy Reuters and  Entertaiment Asylum,  Lisa Nicole Carson picture courtesy Fashion Dish,  Jennifer Aniston, Jeri Ryan, Alex Kingston, Michelle Williams, and Christina Applegate pictures courtesy UltimateTV

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