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JerkyFlea: September 1999 |
| Author: JerkyFlea |
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Date: September 1999 |
Fleamail
First letter this month comes from David M., who
starts out referring to last month's Mystery Celebrities (the italics are
my responses)...
Well you know, I'm
completely stumped on who those atrociously tressed women are. I'm
actually very proud that I don't know who the (I'm sure) sub-grade "chanteuses"
are.
"Sub-grade chanteuses",
eh? You, my friend, shall be shocked and amazed this month when you
find out. =)
This last month I've been watching
Sex and The City and I think you should devote some column inches to the
four comely lasses.
I mean
SARAH
JESSICA PARKER has huge hair -
it must be half her body weight. But this season, she's wearing it
straight and slightly blonder, i.e. less roots.
And this coming season,
it's a little shorter and wavy again. Much better, IMHO.
KRISTIN DAVIS
is adorable and probably just your type, though maybe a little whitebread
(not sure here).
Should by my type, but isn't.
I think you nailed it with the "whitebread" thing.
KIM CATTRALL
has seriously dated hair in my opinion. I've been trying to decide
if they're making a statement. She plays a woman who refuses to act
her "real" age.
I actually don't think Kim's
hair looks too bad. She's never had a style that looked great and
this is just as good as any other.
And
CYNTHIA
NIXON has some of the worst hair
on TV in my humble opinion. The do is a disaster and the color is flat
and wrong. Interestingly, I believe that she is a closet blonde as
well. At least I remember her as blonde from some of her earlier
(small) screen appearances like Amadeus. I bet she isn't allowed
to be (real) blonde since both Sarah and Kim are (bottle) blondes on the
show.
I actually think I've seen
Cynthia with blone hair in "Let it Ride". And her hairstyle is hideous.
I think the makeup folks style it with a big glob of Dippy-Do and a leaf
blower.
And, I'm still hoping for that
before and after shot of Megan Mullally (back when she was "plump" and
had long straight reddish-brown hair).
If you find a picture, let
me know. I still haven't seen one.
Keep up the good work.
It's a great distraction from my real job.
P.S. Do you ever do men?
I don't include men for
three reasons: 1) Not many style changes, 2) People don't find it as interesting,
3) I don't really care. Primarily #3. =)
vvv
Next, a letter on the lovely
PORTIA
DI ROSSI...
Jerky
Flea:
Thanks for the Celebrity Hairspray
column. It is very interesting and informative. You are right
on the money regarding Portia de Rossi. She has got to have the most
beautiful hair I have ever seen. I must admit that I have a weakness
for blondes to begin with, but this blonde I think could make a gay man
straight. I think she is a knockout with her hair up, but when she
lets it down, I melt.
I actually like short hair
on women, but I hope she does not succumb to the scissors any time soon.
Again, thanks for the monthly column.
Jimmy S.
No problem Jimmy. And, as I said before, Portia
is the exception that proves the rule on my preference for brunettes.
vvv On to Mikel A's letter on
SHERYL
CROW (and again, the italics are me)...
I came across your
website after reading Movieline Magazine this past summer. Your column
is a riot --- and i'm impressed by the amount of time and effort you put
into it.
Hey, thanks. That's nice to hear and actually
means a lot.
As
a major fan of Sheryl Crow I never realized how much her hair was a part
of her appeal... At some point in September of 98' I taped the "Rosie O'Donnell"
show in order to hear Sheryl perform her single, "My Favorite Mistake." Incidentally, in the music video for the song, she sports her trademark long
locks.
Yup. It was the week between her Saturday
Night Live appearance and her Friday appearance on Rosie that she got hacked.
To
my surprise, the appearance was my first glimpse at her "new" look. A shaggy,
sloppy haircut that left me speechless - you know what I'm describing.
I assumed she would immediately begin the "regrowth" process.
She even remarked that her mother preferred a more "styled" look.
Ugh.
Depressing as hell, wasn't it? Looked terrible and I think it even
took her some time to get used to it (since I saw her acting very self-concious
about it in an MTV interview about that time). Later she cut it a
little shorter (more Meg Ryan-ish) and it actually looked a little better.
The iteration I'm talking about is how it looks in her video for "Sweet
Child O' Mine".
Alas, I come across your column
this summer only to read that Sheryl is still sporting that damned pixie
hair-do. The more I wish she'd change it, the worse and worse it
gets.
Actually,
it does keep getting worse. It was just chopped up during Lilith
Fair and she'd run her hands through it making it just a sweaty out of
control spiky mess. And not in a good way. Toward the end
of the Lilith Fair performance I saw, it looked as though she had dried
it and tried to style it and it just looked kinda puffy and matronly.
Ugh again.
Which brings me to my point.
I feel like her appeal has dropped since the haircut. She hasn't had a
major hit since "My Favorite Mistake." Her new look has led to a
new "creepy" image that I don't like.
True, most of her videos lately have had a harder
edge to them that sort of goes with the new style. I'm
kinda torn on that. As you may have gathered, I'm a huge Sheryl fan
myself. Admittedly, part of the initial attraction was serious lust
stemming from her "All I Wanna Do" video. I liked her look long before
I realized I liked her music. And I'm sure that my thorough enjoyment
of listening to songs like "I Shall Believe" on "Tuesday Night Music Club"
was aided by the fact that Sheryl is gorgeous.
Now, like you, I'm forced to appreciate her more
for her music than her looks. I'm still a fan, since I still love
her stuff and I don't have to think the singer is a babe to like the music
(Courtney Love of "Hole" and Shirley Manson of "Garbage" come to mind).
However, I enjoyed the "complete package" more than I'm enjoying the music
by itself. I don't want to think that it's a Shania Twain like
thing (who's music, I'll readily admit, I enjoy a good deal because of
who's singing it).
As I said, I'm not less of a Sheryl fan now, but
now the attraction is more musical than physical. I just hate that
I've had to reevaluate my appreciation of Sheryl when I was perfectly happy
with it the way it was.
Make sense?
What is your opinion of this
trend for female artists to "strip away" obviously appealing aspects of
their appearance? Is it to achieve some sense of artistic credibility?
Does Sheryl Crowe think she looks good? I don't.
I'm
not sure if Sheryl did it for credibility. She certainly didn't need
it, she's extremely popular, critically praised, and has won Grammys for
songs off of every album she's released. I truly think she just wanted
a change. What other artists were you thinking of (other than Sinead
O'Conner, which is inexplicable)?
Thanks so much for reading.
You're great. Keep up the good work.
Thanks again, and I will.
vvv
And finally, a response to my remark that no one should
say that I'm too mean anymore after a couple of harsh reader comments I
included in last month's Fleamail...
By the way... whoever
gave you the idea that you were mean? How ridiculous!! Isn't
it obvious to the world that what you are doing is a public service in
more ways than one... Not only are you telling it like it is for
every momentarily-mislead celebrity out there, but you are also educating
the general population on the finer points of excellent hair!! It's
quite a responsibility. I, for one, feel that this column should
be counted as college credits. So buck up little camper...
your mommy isn't the only one who knows that you are not mean!!
Take Care,
Sarah
Wow! Thanks Sarah, I really apprecia...uh..wait.
You know Mom?
vvv
Oh, and if you get the urge to clutter up my mailbox,
then just fire your missive off to
[email protected].
"Sex in the City" cast picture courtesy
Reuters, Cynthia Nixon picture HBO
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