JerkyFlea: September 1999

JerkyFlea: September 1999

Author: JerkyFlea

Date: September 1999

Fleamail

First letter this month comes from David M., who starts out referring to last month's Mystery Celebrities (the italics are my responses)...

Well you know, I'm completely stumped on who those atrociously tressed women are.  I'm actually very proud that I don't know who the (I'm sure) sub-grade "chanteuses" are.

"Sub-grade chanteuses", eh?  You, my friend, shall be shocked and amazed this month when you find out. =)

This last month I've been watching Sex and The City and I think you should devote some column inches to the four comely lasses. 

I mean SARAH JESSICA PARKER has huge hair - it must be half her body weight.  But this season, she's wearing it straight and slightly blonder, i.e. less roots.

And this coming season, it's a little shorter and wavy again.  Much better, IMHO.

KRISTIN DAVIS is adorable and probably just your type, though maybe a little whitebread (not sure here).

Should by my type, but isn't.  I think you nailed it with the "whitebread" thing.

KIM CATTRALL has seriously dated hair in my opinion.  I've been trying to decide if they're making a statement.  She plays a woman who refuses to act her "real" age.

I actually don't think Kim's hair looks too bad.  She's never had a style that looked great and this is just as good as any other.

And CYNTHIA NIXON has some of the worst hair on TV in my humble opinion. The do is a disaster and the color is flat and wrong.  Interestingly, I believe that she is a closet blonde as well.  At least I remember her as blonde from some of her earlier (small) screen appearances like Amadeus.  I bet she isn't allowed to be (real) blonde since both Sarah and Kim are (bottle) blondes on the show.

I actually think I've seen Cynthia with blone hair in "Let it Ride".  And her hairstyle is hideous.  I think the makeup folks style it with a big glob of Dippy-Do and a leaf blower.

And, I'm still hoping for that before and after shot of Megan Mullally (back when she was "plump" and had long straight reddish-brown hair).

If you find a picture, let me know.  I still haven't seen one.

Keep up the good work.  It's a great distraction from my real job. 

P.S. Do you ever do men?

I don't include men for three reasons: 1) Not many style changes, 2) People don't find it as interesting, 3) I don't really care.  Primarily #3. =)

vvv

Next, a letter on the lovely PORTIA DI ROSSI...

Jerky Flea:

Thanks for the Celebrity Hairspray column.  It is very interesting and informative.  You are right on the money regarding Portia de Rossi.  She has got to have the most beautiful hair I have ever seen.  I must admit that I have a weakness for blondes to begin with, but this blonde I think could make a gay man straight.  I think she is a knockout with her hair up, but when she lets it down, I melt.

I actually like short hair on women, but I hope she does not succumb to the scissors any time soon.  Again, thanks for the monthly column.

Jimmy S.

No problem Jimmy.  And, as I said before, Portia is the exception that proves the rule on my preference for brunettes.

vvv

On to Mikel A's letter on SHERYL CROW (and again, the italics are me)...

I came across your website after reading  Movieline Magazine this past summer. Your column is a riot --- and i'm impressed by the amount of time and effort you put into it.

Hey, thanks.  That's nice to hear and actually means a lot.

As a major fan of Sheryl Crow I never realized how much her hair was a part of her appeal... At some point in September of 98' I taped the "Rosie O'Donnell" show in order to hear Sheryl perform her single, "My Favorite Mistake."  Incidentally, in the music video for the song, she sports her trademark long locks.

Yup.  It was the week between her Saturday Night Live appearance and her Friday appearance on Rosie that she got hacked.

To my surprise, the appearance was my first glimpse at her "new" look. A shaggy, sloppy haircut that left me speechless - you know what I'm describing.  I assumed she would immediately begin the "regrowth"  process.  She even remarked that her mother preferred a more "styled" look.

Ugh.  Depressing as hell, wasn't it?  Looked terrible and I think it even took her some time to get used to it (since I saw her acting very self-concious about it in an MTV interview about that time).  Later she cut it a little shorter (more Meg Ryan-ish) and it actually looked a little better.  The iteration I'm talking about is how it looks in her video for "Sweet Child O' Mine".

Alas, I come across your column this summer only to read that Sheryl is still sporting that damned pixie hair-do.  The more I wish she'd change it, the worse and worse it gets.

Actually, it does keep getting worse.  It was just chopped up during Lilith Fair and she'd run her hands through it making it just a sweaty out of control spiky mess.  And not in a good way.  Toward the end of the Lilith Fair performance I saw, it looked as though she had dried it and tried to style it and it just looked kinda puffy and matronly.  Ugh again.

Which brings me to my point. I feel like her appeal has dropped since the haircut. She hasn't had a major hit since "My Favorite Mistake."  Her new look has led to a new "creepy" image that I don't like.

True, most of her videos lately have had a harder edge to them that sort of goes with the new style. I'm kinda torn on that.  As you may have gathered, I'm a huge Sheryl fan myself.  Admittedly, part of the initial attraction was serious lust stemming from her "All I Wanna Do" video.  I liked her look long before I realized I liked her music.  And I'm sure that my thorough enjoyment of listening to songs like "I Shall Believe" on "Tuesday Night Music Club" was aided by the fact that Sheryl is gorgeous.

Now, like you, I'm forced to appreciate her more for her music than her looks.  I'm still a fan, since I still love her stuff and I don't have to think the singer is a babe to like the music (Courtney Love of "Hole" and Shirley Manson of "Garbage" come to mind).  However, I enjoyed the "complete package" more than I'm enjoying the music by itself.  I don't want to think that it's a Shania Twain like thing (who's music, I'll readily admit, I enjoy a good deal because of who's singing it).

As I said, I'm not less of a Sheryl fan now, but now the attraction is more musical than physical.  I just hate that I've had to reevaluate my appreciation of Sheryl when I was perfectly happy with it the way it was.

Make sense?

What is your opinion of this trend for female artists to "strip away" obviously appealing aspects of their appearance? Is it to achieve some sense of artistic credibility?  Does Sheryl Crowe think she looks good?  I don't.

I'm not sure if Sheryl did it for credibility.  She certainly didn't need it, she's extremely popular, critically praised, and has won Grammys for songs off of every album she's released.  I truly think she just wanted a change.  What other artists were you thinking of (other than Sinead O'Conner, which is inexplicable)?

Thanks so much for reading.  You're great.  Keep up the good work.

Thanks again, and I will.

vvv
And finally, a response to my remark that no one should say that I'm too mean anymore after a couple of harsh reader comments I included in last month's Fleamail...
By the way... whoever gave you the idea that you were mean?  How ridiculous!!  Isn't it obvious to the world that what you are doing is a public service in more ways than one...  Not only are you telling it like it is for every momentarily-mislead celebrity out there, but you are also educating the general population on the finer points of excellent hair!!  It's quite a responsibility.  I, for one, feel that this column should be counted as college credits.  So buck up little camper...  your mommy isn't the only one who knows that you are not mean!! 

Take Care, 
Sarah

Wow! Thanks Sarah, I really apprecia...uh..wait.  You know Mom?

vvv

Oh, and if you get the urge to clutter up my mailbox, then just fire your missive off to [email protected]
 

"Sex in the City" cast picture courtesy Reuters, Cynthia Nixon picture HBO

Next Page >>>

Send this page to a friend.

If you want to talk more about this or other hair care articles on HairBoutique.com or anywhere else, please post a message on  HairBoutique.com's Hair Talk Forums.

For additional hair care articles, tips and product information check out the following links: