It's been a weirdly slow month or so for any big hair news and finding good photos of some of the more interesting stuff has been daunting, to say the least.  Anyway, I'll begin in earnest with finally debunking a bit of confusion regarding on of the queens of long hair, JANE SEYMOUR.  There have been a few pictures floating around showing Jane with a layered crop with short, spikey bangs.  Most places I've seen the picture, it accompanied with helpful phrases such as "Shorn at last" (quoting from EOnline.com).  Quite a story that would have been...if any of it were true.  Had any of the photogs or those reprinting the photo taken two seconds to check it out, they would have discovered it was a wig.  Heck, all you had to do was buy a "People" which had a quote from Jane in which she said she wore the wig to do something different without making a change.  I won't even get into the fact that it just plain looks like a wig (I mean, look at those semi-pincurls in front of the ear.  Where have you seen that in the last 20 years except on a wig or your aunt...or both?).
 

The Wig	The Mane

FLEA'S CALL:   Well, other than an example of how not to panic needlessly, what can we learn from this little experience?  The primary thing we can draw from it is that if Jane ever does decide to go short, this is one hairstyle she can mark off of the list of possibles.  Then again, who flips through the Eva Gabor catalog looking ideas?  And for those of you still harboring some worry over this silliness, Jane looks great with long hair and given comments she's made in the past about it, I doubt she'll be cutting it.  Heck, she was even asked about it in an online interview on TVGuide Online on May 20 of this year...

Q: Have you ever had short hair? I love your hair.

A: I cut all my hair off when I was 13 because the children at school teased me. I wanted it to flip like Jackie Kennedy's but it flopped. My hair has been below my backside but now it is to the middle of my back. I often wear wigs for movies and I look good in short hair (Flea jumping in here: Hey Jane, let's not get carried away...). My husband likes long hair and I find it easier. With long hair you don't need to do too much.

If you know who ROSE MCGOWAN is, it's probably from one of two things: 1) Her role as the big brea...uh...well-endowed blonde who is crushed in the garage door in "Scream" or 2) as the future bride of everyone's favorite discount anti-Christ, Marilyn Manson.  Well, not only is she no longer blonde, but she has continued to let her hair grow to where it's not just noticeably long, but it's approaching waist-length.  These things just sort of sneak up on you when you're not paying attention, ya know?

FLEA'S CALL:   Despite the fact that Rose falls into the "Actresses Whose Appeal Is Lost On Me" Club (of which Claire Danes is the charter member), I can appreciate the fact that her thick, naturally wavy hair is quite attractive.  I just wish it was on someone else.  What will be more interesting is to see if having her hair that long impacts her in future casting decisions and/or if she ends up cutting it for that reason.  Stay tuned, kids...

Here's one I'm a bit late on: JAMIE LUNER, Ally Walker's replacement on NBC's "The Profiler".  Since I hadn't been watching her on "Melrose Place", the fact that she adopted a new 'do when going to the new show didn't become apparent to me until just recently.  I'm slow, what can I say?  Anyway, in what I assume is an attempt to shed her MP image and look a bit more serious, she snipped off a good 6 to 8 inches of her red locks, resulting in a shoulder skimming, long-layered shag.  To me, the most ironic part of this is that Ally Walker had been letting her hair get longer and wilder over the past season.  Go figure.
 

Before	After

FLEA'S CALL:  This is one of those situations where I have to evaluate the hairstyle decision in context.  As I said above, the context in this case is that her role is that of an FBI profiler.  Given that restriction, I think this was an excellent choice for her.  It's still quite flattering and reflect the professional image the role requires.  As much as I love Ally Walker's hair, the mass of flowing blonde waves she was wearing by the time she left the show was just short of ridiculous considering who she was portraying.  Not that it kept her off of the "Best Hair On TV" list, though.  Double-standard?  What double-standard? J

MARIE OSMOND used to be a little bit country and now she's a little bit talk-show hosty, joining brother Donny in the kinda still new "Donny & Marie Show".  The new show is exactly like the old show, except there are no costumes, skits, singing, or ice skating (yup, they had ice skating) and more celebrity interviews.  I'm sure you can see the similarities.  Anyway, over the years, Marie has had a variety of hairstyles ranging from the Loretta Lynn big country hair, the Dorothy Hamill wedge, the poodle perm, and the flowing and teased '80s mane.  Hey, she's nothing if not trendy.  Anyway, since her new talk show began, her hair, which started out a bit below her shoulders, has gotten progressively shorter until it reached it's current and recently trimmed length of a couple of inches below her chin.  The new style is a cross between a longish version of the tucked style and a short to medium-length shag (which, I guess, are practically the same thing).
 

Before	After

FLEA'S CALL:  I think for the first time in a while, Marie has nailed a style that is perfect for her (though you can't necessarily judge it by this particular photo).  The longer, bigger 'dos she has wore in recent years (up to and including the one shown in the "before" picture), never quite looked right.  There was just something slightly unnatural about them that made them appear, at best, matronly, or , at worst, wig-like.  This current look is not only flattering, but it looks natural.  Though quality-wise, Marie continues to have terrific hair, I think that style-wise, her days of being able to pull-off long hair are behind her.  Those of you out there who still have fond memories of your "Donny & Marie" lunchbox suddenly feel REALLY old, don't ya?

Speaking of icons of the '70s (and a few years after, for that matter), I have a bit of news on OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN.  Yes, the woman who brought you "Xanadu" and the headband craze of the early '80s, has gotten a new 'do.  After several years of wearing a neck-length, angled, layered bob in only slightly varying forms, has snipped it off into a choppy, longish crop that retains some length at the nape.  Though I haven't heard for sure, I believe it is for a role in the movie she is currently filming, since she did it almost immediately after her tour ended this summer (during which she sported her well-known bob).

Before
 

After

FLEA'S CALL:  Oh, where to begin.  I'm not sure if hacked, messy look simply doesn't work for Olivia or if she just got this haircut free with a fill-up.  We know, of course, that she can wear short hair based on evidence from her "Physical" days (kids, ask your parents), but this is just bad.  Not only that, but what's with the dark roots?  I guess when you get your hair done at the local Texaco after topping off the tank with unleaded, it's tough to get them to touch up your color.  Unless, of course, you pay extra and use the Full Service island.
 

Jane Seymour picture courtesy EOnline, Rose McGowan pictures coutesy Hollywood.Com  and TVGuide Online, Jamie Luner pictures courtesy Hollywood.Com, Marie Osmond pictures courtesy "The Donny & Marie Show" and Hollywood.Com, Olivia Newton John pictures courtesy Only Olivia and EOnline

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