JerkyFlea: July 1999

JerkyFlea: July 1999

Author: JerkyFlea

Date: July 1999


 
Fleature: The Best Hair on TV

Well, believe it or not, it's been a year since last I did this.  So, technically, this would be the second annual list, even though I had no intention for it to be a year between them.  Then again, you really couldn't care less, could you?  Didn't think so.  Since we've once again established our mutual apathy, let's review last year's top 10:

10) Brooke Shields, "Suddenly Susan"
9)  Jennifer Aniston, "Friends"
8)  Danielle Fishel, "Boy Meets World"
7)  Patricia Heaton, "Everybody Loves Raymond"
6)  Lisa Rinna, "Melrose Place"
5)  Debra Messing, "Will & Grace"
4)  Kim Delaney, "NYPD Blue"
3)  Gillian Anderson, "X-Files"
2)  Julianna Marguilles, "ER"
1)  JENNA ELFMAN, "Dharma & Greg"

In the time since the last list was compiled, several changes have taken place.  Lisa Rinna is no longer on TV, so she's off the list by default (though she still has terrific hair), Gillian Andersen cut the best bob on TV into yet another version of the tucked-behind-the-ears style, and Jenna Elfman has...uh...well, she says she is letting her hair grow out.  Let's leave it at that.  So, how does that impact the new list?  Well, let's see...

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THE SUMMER 1999 BEST HAIR ON TV:

10) DANIELLE FISHEL, "Boy Meets World" (previous rank: 8) - Danielle slips a couple of notches this year.  Not necessarily for anything she did, but because some others entered the list above her.  Still has wonderful, thick blonde hair.
 
 

9) JENNIFER ANISTON, "Friends" (previous rank: 9) - Well, her hair looks the same, so how could she move (he says ignoring the logic he just stated for Danielle)?  Not a lot of style, but exceptional hair.
 
 
 

8) DEBRA MESSING, "Will & Grace" (previous rank: 5) - Debra started out the season with some of the absolute best looking hair on TV.  Since then, she has let her red curls grow out..along with a few roots.  Though, it still looks pretty good, the aforementioned stuff accounts for her slide...and could eventually knock her out altogether.

7) STACEY DASH, "Clueless" (previous rank: unranked) - Stacey enters the list for the first time based on ability to consistantly maintain a very flattering style for herself, though she changes it often for the show.  A definite sign of good hair.
 
 
 

6) CATHERINE BELLE, "JAG" (previous rank: unranked) - Our first short haired entrant on this year's list, Catherine definitely shows that short can be sexy.  I apologize for how "Entertainment Tonight" that last remark sounded, but hey, look on the bright side.  I could have used the equally painful, "she proves that less is more".  In any case, Catherine's hair looks swell.  Won't hear Bob Goen say that, will ya?

5) KIM DELANEY, "NYPD Blue" (previous rank: 4) - Nothing Kim did knocked her down, she's just a victim of a overcrowding at the top.  She does stay in the top five for her beautiful natural curls, which still manage to look terrific on the show, even though she plays a character whose hair is not her top concern.  She could try something other than the center part, though...

4) ALLY WALKER, "Profiler" (previous rank: unranked) - The first of the major jumps from unranked to the top five.  To be quite honest, I'm not sure how I missed her on last year's list.  Ally has A LOT of thick blonde hair that was originally cut into a lightly layered shoulder-length shag when the series started, but has since grown well below her shoulders in a longer (and great looking) version of the same style.  Unfortunately, Ally will probably be off of the next iteration of this list because she is leaving her show this fall.  Bummer.

3) JULIANNA MARGUILLES, "ER" (previous rank: 2) - Yet another victim of the glut of newcomers at the top, Julianna drops one point from last time.  Long time readers who know my affinity for brunettes will not be surprised at Julianna's high ranking.  And even if you didn't know that, how could you not love that fabulous mass of dark curls?  And why do my nurses never look like that?

2) LARA FLYNN BOYLE, "The Practice" (previous rank: unranked) - By entering the list for the first time all the way up to number two, Lara demonstrates how the right cut can make all of the difference.  When the season began, she had same non-descript style sported by many actresses these days, shoulder-length with layering on the ends and no bangs.  Not that it looked bad at all, but just didn't make her stand out.  Late in the season however, she cut it to chin-length with very light layering and eyebrow skimming, moderately thick bangs.  Wow, what a difference (despite the awful picture I found of it).  I haven't seen a change in style make that much of an impact on an actress since Jennifer Aniston got her "Rachel" 'do.  Lara may very well have the best cut on TV and that has count for a lot...and obviously does, considering her ranking. J

1) PORTIA DI ROSSI, "Ally McBeal" (previous rank: unranked) - If it surprises you that Portia went from unranked to number one on the list, then you need to flip over to "Ally McBeal" one Monday night.  Though other TV actresses have been known for their hair, I can't think of any other who's hair is so stunning that it is constantly written into the plot as an actual weapon.  In the show, when it is released from a bun, men are helpless and women are left speechless with envy.  I'm not so sure those cascading blonde waves doesn't have the same effect in real life.  Heck, it's even made ME reconsider that whole brunette thing. J  (Oh, and if you want to read more about Portia, click over to Karen's article on her here.  And, gosh darn it, Karen even beat me to a Did Ya Know? about Portia lopping off her blonde tresses after the movie "Sirens")

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Before you complain that I missed some obvious choices, let me run down the list of "others receiving votes", like they do in the college basketball polls (yeah, I know it was only me voting, but work with me here).  So, in no particular order, they were:  ANGIE HARMON, "Law & Order"; KATIE HOLMES, "Dawson's Creek"; MICHAEL MICHELLE, "Homicide"; GILLIAN ANDERSEN, "X-Files"; and ANNIE POTTS, "Any Day Now".  Any of these women have the potential to sneak into the next top ten list, but couldn't quite swing it this time.

Oh, and if you are wondering, PATRICIA HEATON fell off of the list because she just let her hair grow into a non-style over the course of the season.  It looked better right at the very end, but not enough to save her.  Gillian, Jenna, and Lisa dropped off for the previously mentioned reasons and I already discussed about Brooke's hair problems in last month's column.

And, if you are looking for future predictions, the next list may be markedly different due to some of the women coming to TV in series this fall.  Who should you keep an eye out for?  Well, MARY McDONNELL, GINA GERSHON, CARLA GUGINO, LAUREN HOLLEY, and MOIRA KELLY are all in new series in the upcoming season.  Should be interesting, huh?

So there you are.  Agree?  Disagree?  Care?  Send me your comments at [email protected] or post them on  Celebrity Hair Spray: The Board Game.  Let me know what you think.
 

Kim Delaney picture courtesy The Rosie O'Donnell Show, Danielle Fishel, Jenna Elfman, and Lara Flynn Boyle pictures courtesy ABC, Jennifer Aniston, Debra Messing, and Ally Walker pictures courtesy NBC, Stacey Dash picture courtesy UPN, Catherine Belle picture courtesy CBS, and Portia Di Rossi picture courtesy Entertainment Asylum.

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