Comedian Ray Romano was once again a guest on Ellen's talk show. Ray made a point of showing off the tops of his Ellen brand underwear which he told the audience is one of the great perks about appearing on the show. Apparently the Ellen underwear comes in the gift bag for all the guests.
(Co-Stars Of Men Of A Certain Age on TNT - All Rights Reserved)
Ray made a point of telling the audience "I just want to make this point clear, there men's underwear. I'm not wearing women's underwear right now." Ray said "I love them" when referring to his various Ellen underwear pairs but said "I save them for when I'm on the show. For special occasions. I don't want to ruin them."
Falling Asleep At All The Wrong Times And In All The Wrong Places
The current star of TNT's Men Of A Certain Age recently turned 53 years old and is dealing with aging issues including sleep pattern disruptions.
Ray also said he sometimes falls asleep when he doesn't want to, but can't fall asleep at other times when he really wants to.
He reported he recently did "the dip, the head dip, driving late at night (falling asleep) thing. I did the head thing. Yeah, it's a scary. That's a frightening head dip. And it's weird because its very peaceful on the way down, because you're falling asleep and you're never more at peace and then you're entering terror on the way up."
He continued his story about falling asleep while driving "and what I don't get is that you've almost killed yourself. a brush with death. Shouldn't that be enough to keep you awake for the rest of the ride? And then you do it again."
Getting Naked To Save Your Life
Ray's solution to prevent head dipping and sleeping while driving? He told Ellen there's a simple solution, "take pants off. Take your pants off. Your naked? This will keep you awake. Your naked ass on your seat, you're aware. You're aware of everything now. It'll save your life."
Ray admitted it's a little unorthodox, but he advocates removing underwear and pants and placing your naked ass on the car seat to keep you completely awake. He also says you should only have to drive with a naked ass "at night" and when "you really need to."
Improving The Shape Of His Ass
And speaking of his ass. Ray's resolutions for 2011 including improving the shape of his ass. He told Ellen "I do the push-ups but I really think I need ass-ups. No, I'm serious, I think I have the flattest ass in show business." Ray stood up to show of his ass to the audience who applauded. He chided them "no, it's not a woo."
He said "I know what you're applauding. The mic pack. That's what it is. Without a wallet I have no ass at all." Ray asked Ellen for tips on how to "create a good ass." Although Ellen suggested squats Ray suggested that "maybe the underwear you give could have padding or a little cup" or some good padding in the buns.
Wanting To Die By Sniper
Now that Ray has turned 53 Ellen asked if he worried about aging. He said "I'm a comic so I'm neurotic. I worry about everything. So yes, of course I do." He handles the aging issues by "tricking myself into thinking I'm going to live forever. Ignoring death. I'm just not going to think about it."
So how does Ray want to die? He told Ellen "I want it to sneak up on me. You know how I want to die? Seriously, a sniper. Just boom, but a good sniper. Not a weekend sniper."
Ray said with getting older he's noticed a change in his sleeping patterns. He's also noticed he "cries easier and even cried at a Deal or No Deal show."
Men Of A Certain Age Can Always Use More Viewers
Although they've been getting great critical reviews, Men of a Certain Age could use some additional viewers. Ray explained that the show could be classified as a drama and it not really a comedy. Ray loves the fact that on the show he gets to play golf and date women.
At the end of the show Ellen gave Ray a pair of jeans with lots of padding. She apologized to Ray that it wasn't padded underwear but at least it was close.
Ray seemed pleased with the plumped up butt in the pants and told Ellen it would come in handy if he fell on his ass.
Leave it to Ray Romano to be hilarious while discussing a flat ass, getting older and falling asleep while driving. Maybe that's why I've always been a fan of his work.
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