There are many things in life that I don't give the slightest thought to. Whether someone should get romantically involved with their hairdresser is one of those things that I just never really think about.
I received an email from a very distraught young woman who titled her email "major hair emergency".
Thinking that she had suffered through some horrendous home hair coloring event or been unhappily chemically altered by a perm or straightening treatment, I prepared to offer cuticle recovery assistance.
I was surprised when her hair emergency turned out to be a sticky situation involving a romantic relationship that she was having with her hairstylist of one year.
It seems that the young lady was the last appointment of the day on a Saturday evening and somehow found herself having drinks and dinner with her personal hair guy. One thing led to another, they fell in love and started living together.
The problem you ask? Well for starters, there are all those other women that her guy hangs out with. You know, the ones that her beau cuts, colors and styles for his livelihood. All of those other ladies have made this young woman wildly jealous and progressively more miserable. It doesn't help that her hairdresser love's last three serious relationships were all started with current hair clients. Even worse is the fact that none of them lasted more than a few years.
Although this situation may not seem like a serious problem, they are also fighting bitterly over her hair color, length and style. When she was just his hair client, she could exert her personal desires over her hair.
Now that she's living with him, her hairdresser will only create the color and styles that he thinks she should have. Although she's miserable with her current hairstyle but he will not listen to her pleas to change it.
When he found out that she was considering going to a new hairstylist he accused her of cheating on his hairdressing activities with her. Showing up with a new cut or color is something that she obviously can't hide.
She is also quite stressed by the fact that every time she visits her sweetie at his salon, he is surrounded by women that she is convinced are waiting in line for her ultimate relationship demise.
Even worse, she fears that if she ends the relationship he will no longer do her hair, and before their romantic involvement, he was the best hairdresser she ever found in her life.
What's A Girl To Do?
Obviously I am not a couples counselor that can offer romantic advice. I did volunteer to provide my own opinions but cautioned that all advice was based solely on my personal perspective.
I suggested that this troubled young woman immediately find a good counselor that she work with to try and resolve some of her conflicts about his work, his control of her hair and his female clientele.
I pointed out that if she could work out her own issues regarding the relationship, everyone might just live happily ever after. If things couldn't be resolved, I suggested that maybe she could convince him to go to a couples counselor to discuss their joint issues.
The ending was not a happy one. Although the young lady did go to counseling, she was not able to resolve many of the problems. Her guy refused to participate in joint counseling and they ultimately broke up. She is currently searching for a new stylist but will only consider a female for her next hair care professional.
The morale to this story? While there probably are many happy couples around the globe that started with as a hairdresser and their client, it may not always have a happy ending. Just like getting romantically involved with someone at work or at your church, consider what the long term impact will be if you become intimate. Think what will happed to your ability to continue to work with your valued hairstylist. What happens if things don't work out? Will you be able to still work together?
If you do take the plunge, consider immediately finding a different hairstylist in a new salon to work with your hair. This action will prevent some of the problems that the young lady in question experienced with her hairdressing guy.
Life can throw us into unexpected situations and getting involved with your hairdresser is one of them.
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- Revised Publication Date: 04/04/10