An Interview With JerkyFlea:
World Famous Celebrity Hair Critic |
| Karen M. Shelton |
| Revised Date: 05/19/07 Original
Publication Date: 3/1/2000, 8/5/2002 |
Introduction  After you have read his Celebrity Hairspray Columns you may ask yourself, just who is that mystery man and how did he become such a fabulous celebrity hair expert?
I would love to start by telling you Mr. JerkyFlea's real name, but I had to swear to secrecy when His Fleaness signed on as the permanent celebrity hair critic of Hair Boutique. Mr. Flea threatened my life (well not seriously) if I even though his real name out loud. Fear for my life has motivated me to keep Mr. Flea's true identity hidden from the world. I guess someday they will come for me...whoever they may be...to torture me until I utter Mr. Flea's real name...for the good of national security or some other such nonsense.
Meeting JerkyFlea I had the pleasure of meeting The Flea, as I call him with affection, back in the Fall of 1998 when The Hair Boutique selected the Celebrity Hairspray Column as Hair Link of the Week. Back in those days the column was residing on a different hair site. During the Fall Flea Encounter I was privileged to exchanged some private emails with The Flea about the Hair Boutique's review of his column. Not only was his fleaness helpful and co-operative, he was hilarious. I remember one email when he ended a wonderful paragraph discussing his link and JerkyFlea banner with the following quote: "Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but I was quite impressed with myself in making it and I hoped you'd use it. Whine, complain, bitch, moan. heheheh." This sentence captures the great sense of humor that JerkyFlea maintains about himself that so wonderfully overflows into his monthly columns.
Signing On To The Hair Boutique Early in 1999 JerkyFlea and his Celebrity Hairspray were seeking a new Web home. The Flea sent me an email with his phone number and asked me to call him about the possibility of moving the column to The Hair Boutique. I have to admit that I was very curious about Mr. Flea. I was not really sure what to expect. However, I am happy to report that he was charming and funny and great to talk to. My long distance phone provider will be happy to back me up on that statement. Mr. Flea and I had several long phone conversations to discuss his move to The Hair Boutique and I have to admit that I loved to hear his celebrity tips..... real and in person. An Amazing Background In Hair His Fleaness told me that his interest in hair started back in his college days when he was enlisted to help his girlfriend, ala Damsel In Distress (DID), with her hair. The girlfriend, now Mrs. Flea, asked Mr. Flea to trim her hair to save her from the horrors of potential Hairstylists from Hell (HFH). Mr. Flea was skeptical but took scissors to hand and proceeded to do a fantastic job of trimming and styling. The DID was thrilled and spread the word across the campus. Mr. Flea became famous for his dorm room trims and acquired quite a following for the rest of his university serfdom. This instant collegiate hair related fame blossomed into an overnight appreciation and interest in all sorts of hairstyles. Although His Fleaness was ultimately destined for the engineering world, he continued to dabble in the hair arts on the side. So Who Is This Masked Celebrity Hair Watcher? Recently, while hanging on the horn and chewing the celebrity hair fat with The Flea I asked him to give me more insight into him for The Hair Boutique readers. The Flea explained that until his fame overcomes his private life he wants to remain "the Scott Adams of the Celebrity Head World". The Flea, like Dilbert creator Scott, is an average "Joe Blow worker bee" hiding out in his technology day job while actively spinning amusing columns about the odd, the bizarre and the downright tacky in the world of Celebrity Heads in his spare time. I warned The Flea that the day will come when he sits in that famous sidekick chair on Dave or Jay's shows and has his own press agent. At that point, his cover will be totally blown. Jerky agreed that it would be hard to remain anonymous under those circumstances. Which brings us to the next topic....Jerky's budding fame. A Celebrity In His Own Right While his Fleaness is busy watching all the celebrity heads, the other watchers are starting to watch Mr. Flea. Cynthia Nellis, Guide to the heavily hyped About.Com's Fashion page has this to say about The Flea's infamous column:
"JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray - A wonderful column dedicated to looking at celebrity hair styles, mostly before and after pics, with intelligent critiques of the new looks. Very fun reading." WildWeb.com also gave JerkyFlea and his Celebrity Hair Spray a special mention in a recent edition. September's 1999 Movieline Magazine honored the Celebrity Hair Spray column. How The Celebrity Hairspray Was Born Like a lot of great things, the Hairspray column has its roots in a simple series of incidents. Several years ago JerkyFlea started posting a few of his humorous, yet accurate, observations of celebrity hair on a few of the hair related message boards. The board communities clamored for more. One thing led to another and JerkyFlea was born (sans the cape and the mask) and took up semi-permanent residence on the WW Beauty Message board. From those humble board beginnings he went on to write a full blown column complete with scanned photos of star hair happenings. When WW Beauty was no longer able to host the ever evolving Celebrity Hairspray column, the Flea took flight, with WW Beauty's blessing, to The Hair Boutique. One Thing Lead To Another The Flea found a warm home with HairBoutique.com. As a result of his wit and willingness to dish the celebrity dirt, a Celebrity Hair Messageboard was created for his fans to visit and share the gossip. Most Commonly Asked Questions About JerkyFlea From time to time I receive questions about The Flea and I have decided to include the most frequently asked questions. - Are there known side effects from reading Celebrity Hairspray?
There has been a reported side effect of column addiction. The symptoms include constant clicking on the Hair Boutique's URL to check for the announcement of the latest column. Other symptoms include bloodshot eyes from re-reading every word.
Be careful not to taken in excess on an empty stomach. Nausea could result. This is going to happen with ANY Celebrity Hairspray column.
- What is the proper dosage for Celebrity Hairspray.
Read as many times in one day as possible. Should always be read with a meal for maximum enjoyment. Any less than once a day is harmful. The more you read Celebrity Hairspray the more you will know about celebrity hair.
- How many celebrities in each column?
As many as can be crammed into the page limits.
- Can I take just read one column?
No. It is impossible to read just one JerkyFlea column and not read them all.
- Is The Column Guaranteed?
Absolutely not. There is a complete no money back guarantee! After 30-45 days of reading Celebrity Hairspray if you are not 100% satisfied see your doctor - there is something wrong with you. What Is Next For JerkyFlea? If only we could tell you. JerkyFlea recently went into semi-retirement although his column will live on forever
in the hearts and minds of HairBoutique.com visitors. |