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JerkyFlea: First Column |
| Author: JerkyFlea |
JerkyFlea's Celebrity
Hair Spray
"Giving you a firm, yet manageable
hold on celebrity
hair news . . . "
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by JerkyFlea
Howdy! It's JerkyFlea here with an update on
celebrity hair news. Am I going to tell you anything about myself? No,
because you know and I both know that you don't give a rodent's rectal
region about me as long as I deliver the goods in the form of follicular
flashes from famous females. But enough alliteration. Here's how I'm gonna
lay this out:
OLD NEWS: Hair news that
you may or may not have heard of since the last time the column was updated.
This will be items that came out right around the time that the column was
posted, but didn't make the column. If there is any new detail I can offer I
will, but otherwise think of it as a checklist ("Knew that. Knew that
too. Already heard that." etc.) on how up to date you are.
THE LATEST: Anything that's
current or not too old. If I (emphasis on "I") have seen it posted
on some other hair site before I get it in the column, then it immediately
becomes OLD NEWS. If DS and I are doing our jobs, then this section should
be large and OLD NEWS should be small.
THE SCOOP: If there is
anything that I stumbled across that I'm pretty sure most folks don't know
or that you probably wouldn't find with out the help of your pal JerkyFlea,
then look for it here. For obvious reasons, this section won't be around
every time.
AND FINALLY, DID YA KNOW...:
This will be little bits of trivia or older tidbits that are stuffed in the
back of my head that you may not know and that need a place to be dumped.
This would be that spot.
****** DISCLAIMER: My
opinions are mine only, so don't yell at DS. I am not a complete short hair
devotee, believing that the style should fit the person; be that
waist-length tresses or a pixie. In my humble opinion, the only woman that
virtually bald has ever worked for is Sinead O'Conner. I still love that
"Nothing Compares to U" video. So, that said, on with the show...
OLD NEWS
 LIV
TYLER has gotten shorn for her new movie, "Cookie's
Fortune", currently in production. She went from mid-back to an over
the ears pixie at the request of director Robert Altman. When interviewed on
"Entertainment Tonight", she still seemed a bit uncomfortable with
it, but it could have been because it was the first time she had been
interviewed or photographed since she got it cut. Look for her on the talk
show circuit when she starts promoting "Armageddon".
FLEA'S CALL: Too short for Liv, though she's
beautiful no matter what. Sweeping the bangs to the side will help since
bangs never looked good on her even with long hair. Here's hoping she
shampoos with Miracle Grow.
LISA KUDROW
seems to have been made aware of the rule that all new moms must cut their
hair after the birth of their child. Lisa has ditched her almost
waist-length blonde hair for a long bob to the top of the shoulder. Some
subtle layering around the face makes it reminiscent of the layered 'do she
got at the beginning of the second season of "Friends", but with
out the bangs and quite a bit shorter.
FLEA'S CALL: Looks great on her. But what's
Phoebe without long hair? Doesn't seem right that Jennifer Aniston will have
the longest hair on the series come next season.
 "Dharma
& Greg"'s JENNA ELFMAN
is sporting long (about 8 inches below the shoulders) blonde hair these
days. Did she come up with some miraculous hair growth formula since
filming of her series wrapped for the season? Nope, she just got extensions
put in for the movie "Ed TV" that she is currently filming with
Matthew McConoughey.
FLEA'S CALL: Though she could go a little
longer than her current style if she wanted, the extensions prove that long
hair isn't in the cards for Jenna. Her current medium mop of curls and
waves does much more for her.
THE LATEST
Since the new X-Files movie was actually filmed last summer, it must have
finally gotten to GILLIAN
ANDERSEN
that she had to maintain the exact same hairstyle, color, and length for an
entire year for continuity. She has since altered what had to be about the
best bob on TV for a slightly more layered style. Think of it as a cross
between her former style and the currently ubiquitous "tucked behind
the ears" style (i.e., more layered on the sides and back). The biggest
change, however, is in the color, which is now a chestnut brown instead of
some shade of Scully's traditional red. It looks quite good on her and
really makes her blue eyes pop out even more. Will she go back to red when
the series starts filming again for the fall? Stay tuned.
FLEA'S CALL: Looks damn good. But then again,
Gillian always looks damn good.
The former Mrs. Trump, MARLA MAPLES,
showed up at "Comic Relief 8" with a new super short 'do. How
short? Picture the shortest iteration Sharon Stone's current short style
that you've seen...and then picture it if Sharon got a haircut. It's also
back to brown; something that she originally did a few months ago before
making a guest appearance on ABC's "Spin City".
FLEA'S CALL: It's a cut too far. Assuming
growth of a half-inch per month, it should look good at around Halloween.
THE SCOOP
FLEA'S NOTE: I was debating
if this should be scoop material, but since I'm virtually positive that no
one else heard this (mainly because I was one of the few people there and I
actually got to ask the question), I thought I'd include it.
 As
we all are aware, the lovely and talented
SANDRA BULLOCK
has now grown her hair to about 3/4-of-the-way-down-her-back length from the
bob she had in "Speed". If you think farther back, you'll remember
that Sandra actually got the bob for "Demolition Man" (with
Sylvester Stallone) after having butt-length hair in "Love Potion
#9", her movie immediately prior. So how did Sandra feel about the
major change and would she do it again?
Well, that every question was asked during a recent online chat with
Sandra when she was doing promotion for "Hope Floats". She said
that after she got the part in "Demolition Man", the producers
said that "in the future, you'd have short hair". She said she was
"so scared" because she had "hair down to her tush" at
the time. After cutting it, however, she said that she felt very liberated
and that it doesn't matter to her anymore. She'd shave her head if the role
required it.
FLEA'S CALL: You can do no wrong Sandra.
 Coming
in on the fringe of "celebrity" hair news, it looks like the First
Lady has changed the First 'Do again. In photos of the current China
trip, HILLARY
CLINTON has once more layered the First Bob into the First
Whatever - You - Call - The - Tucked - Behind - The - Ears - Shaggish -
Style. Length is thesame (top of the shoulders) with the top longish
and the sides and back a bit layered (very similar to Gillian Andersen's /
Candace Bergin's new style).
FLEA'S CALL: Though never a big Hillary
fan, this style does work better for her than the bob. She has a very
round face and the bob only emphasized it. This gives her some height
on top and slims the sides. Much more flattering. But,
it's...well...still Hillary.
DID YA KNOW
And finally, did ya know that when RAQUEL
WELCH
cut her hair short the first time back in the 80's, she did it herself? Yup,
according to her beauty book, she basically set up a bunch of mirrors in her
bathroom and went at it with the scissors over a couple of days. She just
kept cutting until she got something she liked. She said she did it because
she never really trusted hairdressers. Does explain that really short and
funky spiky look she had for a while, doesn't it?:)
As usual, JerkyFlea
If the use of any picture
in this column violates the copyright of an individual or organization
and needs to be removed, please let me know and it will be taken down.
Love the column?
Hate the column?
Always wondered why
they call it a column?
Let me know. All raves welcomed
and hatemail expected!
Got a hot tip?
Got an inside scoop?
Got another overused
cliché?
Send it on. Make me the
Matt Drudge of celebrity hair news!
Finally, are you the
star mentioned in the column?
Did you like or loathe
what I said?
And why the heck are
you reading this instead of out being famous or something?
Drop me a line. Let me have
my brush with greatness and I’ll air your side!
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