JerkyFlea: September 2000

Another unofficial member of the Hair Growth Watch club is JOEY LAUREN ADAMS. 

I complained last year when she snipped and colored her short blonde 'do even shorter into a rather bland brown crop.  It was the same look she had at the end of "Big Daddy", though I'm not sure she did it for the role.  In any case, she has now grown it back out a bit and gone back to blonde.  The result is a return to the adorable look she had before the ill-advised cut.  Much more attractive, very flattering, and any other complimentary superlative you feel like tacking on there.  And if you are a regular reader of the column, you'll understand when I say none of my teachers ever looked this cute.  Well, except for Miss Stuart in the 5th grade.  She looked like Lynda Carter.  Sigh.  Slight pause whilst I reminisce a  bit...

I hate it when I really praise someone's style and then she goes and screws it up.  Then again, I shouldn't be surprised since ROBIN TUNNEY has done it to me before.  Last December I lavished kudos (yes, I said "lavished kudos".  I must be having a Joan Rivers moment.  Shudder.) on Robin for the fresh looking curly 'do she wore to the premiere of "End of Days".  I was especially impressed since she was still in the process of growing out the short crop she got for "Supernova". 

Now she has trimmed that previous terrific style into a rather mundane bob, oddly reminiscent of the one she wore at the beginning of "Empire Records" (just before she shaved it off).  Though it could probably be salvaged with some different styling, you can't tell me that the second style is more flattering than the first.  Well, you could, but as is usual in these cases, you'd be wrong.  And in this particular case, very wrong.  This sort of thing just depresses me, so I'd better move on before I get downright morose.  Sigh. 

Yet another member of the ever growing Hair Growth Watch club ("ever growing".  Get it?  Nevermind) is SHARON STONE.  She's been growing out her terrific crop for a while now, which I have mixed feelings about since, once it grew on me, I really liked it.  The process hasn't been kind to Sharon, as she has gone through several rather bizarre iterations of transition styles, such as the "Brother Theodore" look chronicled here.  After appearing in public a few times with extensions (which only served to remind us that Sharon looks better with bangs), she has revealed that her hair has grown to a short shaggish style.

Not bad, but it still looks like she's in the process of growing to some other look known only to her and select members of the Psychic Hotline.

Ok, this one took me by surprise. CHRISTINA RICCI showed up at the Venice Film Festival recently with very short, blonde streaked locks.  This is quite the shock, because last time I saw Christina, she was wearing her jet black hair somewhere between shoulder-length and mid-back (depending on exactly how long those extensions were).  This is obviously for a film role, but since I have no idea which one (I was too lazy to check IMDB) let's concentrate on the style itself.  Well, it's...what's the word I'm looking for?  Oh, yes.  Bad.  As in not good.  The color is fine, rather flattering in fact.  The cut, though, could not be a poorer choice.  With Christina's round face, slicking it down and sweeping it to the side was about the worst thing she could have done with it.  The 'do may be salvageable with some alternate styling, or, I dunno, an actual style.

And now it's riddle time here at Celebrity Hairspray. Question: What's black and white does infomercials?  Answer: CHER's hair.  Heheh.  Oh my.  I kill me.  Anyway, the only bit of real hair news at this year's Emmy's was the amazing and inexplicable change in Cher's haircolor between the time she arrived on the red carpet and when she presented the Best Actress in a Comedy to Patricia Heaton (who has pretty good hair herself).

As best I can tell, Cher was wearing a wig when she arrived and that was her actual hair on stage.  When did she do it?  Why did she do it?  No clue, but I have to give her credit for the shock value, plus, amazingly enough, it looked rather stunning on her.  If I find out any more details, I'll certainly pass them along...and I trust you'll do the same. =)

Well, I told you it was coming and it has indeed happened.  EMMA THOMPSON has joined the ranks of actresses who have gone chrome of dome for "W;t".  As previously reported, Emma is starring in the HBO production of the off-Broadway play.  What I find most interesting about Emma's bald pate is that it renders her virtually unrecognizable.  That seems odd to me, since she isn't known for any particular hairstyle, but with no hair at all, she seems even less distinctive.  Go figure.  v  Since I was talking about the Olympics earlier, I figure I should finally mention PEGGY FLEMING's haircut from several months back.  It occurred during my hiatus and so it didn't make it in the column, but was rather significant since Peggy ditched the long hair she had worn forever in favor of a choppy, layered neck length bob.  The end result was an odd contradiction in that it wasn't necessarily an improvement, but did make her look older instead of younger.  Yeah, I can't figure it out either. v After returning to well-known shoulder-length wavy 'do after going short several years back, LAUREN HUTTON has split the difference with her new cut.  She hasn't gone that much shorter, but has added quite a few layers, with the end result being a fuller style that takes advantage of her natural curls.  Overall, not a bad change

Just in case you haven't seen it by now,, TIFFANY AMBER-THIESSEN is blonde.  Not only that, she's been letting her now golden tresses grow to the point where they fall about mid back.  Love the length, not wild about the color.  Not that she looks bad as a blonde, but she just blends in.  I found her more stunning as a blue-eyed, brunette...not that I'm biased or anything. =) v Also, in a purely informational vein, JENNIFER JASON LEIGH finally abandoned the hideous platinum blonde hue she had been inexplicably clinging to for quite a while in favor of a dark red.  I figure the former was for a film role as the latter may be as well, but at least this color is much more flattering.  I do have to admire Jennifer for her willingness to completely change her look for whatever the role requires.  Heck, it appears that for her, hair just another part of her character's wardrobe and can be changed as easily as choosing a different pair of shoes.  An admirable sacrifice for her craft, but it plays hell with any sense of personal style.  It's rather obvious, however, that I seem to care much more about that than she does. =)

MELANIE CHISHOLM, also known as Sporty Spice to the remaining eight Spice Girls fans in the world, has grown out the short spiky 'do she adopted just prior to the wedding of Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice (who has also, incidentally, started wearing long extensions to mimic the style she had prior to going with her own crop).  Geez, could that sentence be longer?  Anyway, Sporty's new look may very well be her best yet.  It's exceptionally flattering and feminine, the latter being one of the best things about it.  Heck, she's almost attractive with this cut.  Emphasis on almost.  v  And finally, I'll report on this even though I don't know for sure if this is her actual hair.  TONI BRAXTON has reappeared on the scene in support of her new album with long locks that, for once, may not be extensions.  Heck, she's been out of the spotlight long enough for it to grow out, but that's now guarantee.  Anyway, this particular iteration of her 'do is cut into long flippy layers with ash blonde highlights.  Doesn't look bad at all, which isn't surprising since Toni has proven she can successfully pull off about any hairstyle.  Especially given her affinity for extensions and wigs.  Get it?  She can pull of the wigs and extensions.  'Cause they aren't her real hair.  See?  Hello?  Is this thing on?

Joey Lauren Adams and Robin Tunney pictures courtesy FashionDish.com; Sharon Stone pictures courtesy Reuters; Christina Ricci picture courtesy Mr. Showbiz; Cher, Laruen Hutton, Tiffany-Amber Theissen, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Melanie Chisholm, and Toni Braxton pictures courtesy Reuters;

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