JerkyFlea: August 2000

Though it was a little late, pretty good column this month.  Just for future reference they will probably be in this new shorter format from now on.  Given some time constraints I'm fighting, it's pretty much this or no column.  Makes this format look a lot more acceptable now, doesn't it? =)  Oh, and if you are wondering, I am still planning to do the  "Best Hair on TV" list and  "Museum of Madonna" Fleatures at some point.  Just gotta find the time.

And before you ask, no real story on Keri Russell this month, but I found this picture on FashionDish.com which shows that she's put her hair growth time this summer to good use and I had to share.  Starting to look pretty good, isn't it?  Anyway, on to the rest of the stuff...

If you haven't heard, JERRY HALL has taken over the role of Mrs. Robinson from Kathleen Turner in the British stage production of "The Graduate".  This is making news not only for the fact that you get to see Jerry topless in the course of the play (the closest you'll ever get to being Mick Jagger), but because part of the reason you can see Jerry's...uh...graduates, is because there isn't any hair blocking them anymore.  This is the second stage of Jerry's abandonment of her trademark waist-length blonde tresses.  

She first got her locks snipped to mid-back about a month ago by Josh Wood, a new stylist in London who was the first to tell her that her long hair no longer suited her (Josh is from Barnesley, by the way, if you want to send him hate mail). Later, Jerry decided, after a bit of gentle persuasion by the producers, that even her mid-back 'do made her look more like her model image rather than Mrs. Robinson and so she decided to get the even more severe trim to bring it up to about shoulder-length.  Though I've always loved Jerry's blonde main, I must admit that this cut is more appropriate to the part and is still flattering.  Heck, she IS a former model after all.  And, as for that "over 40 and should have long hair" criticism, I would offer up Jane Seymour as a case in counter-point...and then hope that she doesn't run into Josh.

Oh, and thanks to Dan for forwarding the pics.

Unless I'm looking at this picture incorrectly, it appears that JANE KRAKOWSKI has cut her hair up to shoulder-length after letting it grow out for the past couple of seasons.  I really hate that she did it, because I thought the longer 'do she had been cultivating was quite flattering on her, which is part of the reason I singled her out for special recognition in my review of Emmy hair last year.  She was wearing her natural curls in a long wavy style, much the same way Amy Brenneman has been wearing hers of late.  Anyway, that looked good, and this looks bad.  This cut has no real style other than just being shorter.  Is it just me, or does it seem like that at least one female cast member of "Ally McBeal" has to adopt some badly considered cut every season?  Let's just hope Jane doesn't infect Lucy Liu or (shudder) Portia Di Rossi.

Well, after the badly chosen shag of the Spring, KATE MOSS has moved on to the badly chosen angled bob of the Summer. 

Oddly enough, it's not that the cut or color are bad.  In fact, I like both.  They just look flatly awful on Kate.  Sure, I'm slightly biased because I feel that the only reason people find Kate's vacuous stare attractive is because she is a model and thus everyone believes she's supposed to be attractive.  I'm really not sure what would help, but this style certainly doesn't.  Her face shape is somewhere between round, square, and heart-shaped and can look different depending on the lighting.  One thing all of those face shapes have in common, however, is that a bob is not the best style choice.  Ironically, a shorter style (back in her natural dark brown) would probably look better.  So, stay tuned for the badly chosen pixie of the Fall, coming soon to a stick-girl model near you.

CHRISTINA APPLEGATE has abandoned her long worn blonde color to return to her natural dark brown.  She's been blonde for so many years, I bet some of you didn't know she is a natural brunette.  Heck, not that it matters, since Winona Ryder is actually a natural blonde, but has been dying her hair dark so long she'd just look wrong any other way (the long blonde wig in "Edward Scissorhands", for example).  But I digress.  Anyway, once I got used to it, I kind of like Christina's hair this shade for a change.  At least she doesn't look like a Jennifer Aniston knock-off anymore (am I the only one that thought her character on "Jesse" was the poor version of Rachel on "Friends"?).

Speaking of Applegates (only the second time I've ever been able to say that), back a few months ago during my hiatus, JODI APPLEGATE of NBC's "Later Today" got a makeover of sorts.  She hadn't cut her hair in about a year and it had really gotten quite long, falling a good six inches below her shoulders.  For her makeover, which they did on the show, she got about 4 inches cut off, some long layers added, and the color lightened to a medium brown with auburn highlights.  The end result, as you can see below, looked terrific. 

I was very pleased to see that she kept it long and, in fact, Frederic Fekkai, who did the cut, said that given her square face shape, she shouldn't go any shorter (are you listening Kate?).  The only complaint I have is that Jodi looks much better with bangs, but has eschewed them (yes, eschewed.  Look it up) due to the inexplicable adherence to some arbitrary style convention.  But, then again, all style is pretty much arbitrary, ain't it? =) 

And thanks to Dan for the screen captures.

Last I spoke of CONNIE NIELSEN, she had gone short and brunette for her role in Brian DePalma's flop of a "2001" knock-off, "Mission to Mars".  Now, Connie is back once again to a light honey blonde.  Sure it looks good, but after seeing her as a redhead in "Devil's Advocate" and a blonde in "Soldier", I gotta wonder, what the heck is her natural hair color?  Anybody know?  I'd guess blonde, but I truly don't have a clue.  Sure, it makes her incredibly versatile that she isn't known for a particular style or color, but it just nags at me that I don't know what shade those roots are.  For what it's worth, I think she looks best as a brunette though.  Stunning news there, huh? 

Breaking my own rule about not reporting on soap opera stars yet again, I thought I ought to through in a quick blurb about the fairly recent major shearing of KASSIE DePAIVA, Blair of "One Life To Live".  Kassie decided she wanted a change from her long 'do, asked the producers, and they agreed, even working it into the script (the evil character Skye hacked off Blair's hair in her sleep).  I gotta hand it to Kassie, when she decides she wants a haircut, she doesn't mess around. 

As you can see, the end result is a very short, choppy pixie style, that, in my humble opinion, just doesn't look quite right on her.  It looks fairly attractive in the picture below, but that is, in all honesty, about the best it's looked in the times that I have seen her.  My guess is that since, from what I've heard, the amount of positive reaction has been about the same as would be generated by Susan of "Survivor" posing for Playboy, she'll start to grow it out again soon.

And speaking of "Survivor", the adorable COLLEEN HASKEL demonstrated with her short, choppy bob that there actually IS a hairstyle that will still look good if you are stranded on a island for a month.  Who knew?

I mentioned at the beginning of last Fall's TV season that I really didn't like the shag that MARISKA HARGITAY had adopted.  First, I thought her long hair was more attractive and there wasn't any real point to cutting it for her character in "Law & Order:SVU" (see Angie Harmon in "Law & Order").  Second, she did away with her bangs which were much more flattering to her face shape.  Ironically, Mariska has greatly improved things by going even shorter.  Her new 'do, which falls somewhere between a short shag and a long pixie, looks terrific on her and brings back her bangs.  That alone makes a huge difference and seeing a lovely women find her style once again warms the cockles of the Flea's heart.  Whatever the heck cockles are.  I think they are located near the left ventricle, but I could be wrong...  

Keri Russell picture courtesy FashionDish.com; Jerry Hall pictures courtesy Reuters and The Sun; Jane Krakowski picture courtesy Reuters; Kate Moss picture courtesy The Sun; Christina Applegate picture courtesy Reuters; Jodi Applegate pictures courtesy NBC; Connie Nielsen picture courtesy Reuters; Kassie DePaiva pictures courtesy Soap Opera Digest; Colleen Haskel picture courtesy CBS; Mariska Hargitay picture courtesy Reuters

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