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The Horrors of SuperGlue and Other Shorthair Disasters |
| Author: The Short Hair Diva |
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Date: June 2001 |
Introduction
Yes, it’s true—the Diva has been privy to
many a shorthair disaster. The most noteable one I’ve heard lately
involves SuperGlue—shudder.
Dear Ones—LISTEN to the Diva: seek professional help!! When it comes
to hair, especially short hair, the very worst things you can do is
cut, color, or apply hair extensions yourself.
Even licensed professionals know when to ask for
help! Here are some cases in point:
Go Ahead
Ask The Diva.......Emails to the Diva
Question #1:
How NOT To Use SuperGlue
Dear Diva,
HELP!!!!!!!! I have short hair and really wanted the long hair look
for a party I was invited to, but didn’t have the time or the money
to go get hair extensions. So, I looked up all kinds of information on
the Internet about hair extensions, and found a really good site that
showed, step by step, how to apply them. I had a real human wig I
never wear anymore, so I cut enough off it to make a bunch of small
‘tails.’
As I was ready to start, I realized I needed adhesive, and I used
my brother’s SuperGlue. My thinking was that I was going to be using
so little of it on each tail that I could easily afford to lose a few
strands of hair if I had to cut it off (my hair is VERY thick).
Well—I was able to attach all the strands successfully, but used a
lot more SuperGlue than I ever thought I would. I got a lot of
comments at the party about my ‘do, and several about the scent!
Anyhow, I was too tired to do anything about my hair afterward, so I
just went to bed. BIG MISTAKE!! When I woke up the next day, several
of the strands got tangled together, and now I have huge hard wads of
hairy SuperGlue in my hair!
This was Friday night, and I haven’t been out all weekend.
Isn’t there some way I can wash all this junk out of my hair before
I slink into a hair salon and admit my mistake?! I am DESPERATE!
Hairy Wadsworth
Answer
Dear HW,
Well, congratulations. You've made the
Diva's "A" list for the stupidest hair mistakes EVER!!
Since you wanted to save time and money doing this incredibly
boneheaded move, you will now have to pay the piper in time AND
money. You'll pay in time because I fear that any hair
professional will simply cut out your glue balls and you'll just have
to endure your hair growing out. You'll pay in money because
you'll have to have professional hair help to get you through the
growing time.
When WILL you learn?
Eye-rollingly yours,
The Diva
Question #2:
Tarred Of The Same Old Routine
Dear Diva,
Well, bet you haven’t heard this one! My best
friend and I were riding our bikes last weekend, and ran into two
other friends of ours. We got talking about daredevil stunts, and one
thing lead to another. All four of us piled on to one bike, and rode
down the wooden stairs of the local outside sports arena. We did just
fine until we hit a bump and then we all went flying. No one was hurt
too badly except me---I landed in a fresh patch of tar at the bottom
of the stairs, and got it on one side of my face, my eyebrow, and half
of my hair! My mom took me to the doctor, and she was able to get all
the tar out of my skin and eyebrow, but the tar is stuck but good to
my hair. Mom wants to take me to her hair salon to get it cut out, but
I was sure you’d have a solution.
Please help!
Your friend,
Tarry Night”
Answer
Dear Tarry,
Bet I have! My advice to you is tri-fold:
A) Get some saner friends.
B) Listen to your Mom.
C) Go to the hair salon.
Bah-bah,
The Diva
Question #3:
More Than Just A Cutting Remark Routine
“Dear Diva,
You have to help me. I’m a 15-year old guy in
computer camp, and I had a seriously bad fight with my girlfriend over
the phone. I had a really long ponytail when I got here, but after
listening to my girlfriend gripe about how unfair it is that I got to
go to computer camp without her, blah, blah, blahhh, I got mad and cut
it off. To fill you in on some history, my girlfriend was always nuts
about my hair, and during our phone fight she said something like,
‘you better not ever cut off that ponytail, mister!’ Which made me
really mad! I mean, does she think she owns me, or what?!
But now that I’ve done it, not only does my
hair look really weird, but she is going to be soooo P.O.’d at me
when she sees me she may break up with me for good. I’ve read tons
of your Diva letters, and seen how you advise people on their hair
mistakes. Well, I need your help now! Isn’t there some kind of
hair-extension stuff I could use that would help me put the ponytail
back (I have it in a bag now) for when I see her again?
Please help. Even when we fight over the phone, I
really love this girl.
De-Tailed”
Answer
“My dear De-Tailed,
You are obviously suffering from the short-term effects of not
having your
main squeeze around. True, cutting off your ponytail in a fit of
rage wasn’t
the smartest thing you could do, but now, alas, what’s done is
done. Losing
your ponytail is a lot like losing your virginity; once it’s
gone, chances are you won’t grow it back.
However, if you have the time and money, you could look into having
hair extensions. However, the usual cost for this is about $1500 per
appointment, and you’ll need a few of them during the year. My
advice is to keep your money, stay in computer camp, and write off
Ponytail Girl.
Kisses,
The Diva”
Question #4: I
See Your True Colors & I Can't Say I Like Them
Dear Diva,
I feel so stupid! I’m a 45-year man, recently
divorced, and just getting into the dating scene. I look pretty good
for my age, except for my premature white hair. The women I’ve been
meeting tell me that my white hair is “very off-putting” and that
I should do “something” about it.
Well, I did. I felt silly going to a hair salon,
and bought what I thought was a good permanent hair color product at
my supermarket. I wanted the hair color I used to have, which was a
deep chestnut brown. The color on the box said “Rich Chestnut” so
I thought that would be just right. I followed the directions to the
letter, and did everything I was supposed to do. But the resulting
color was far from what I expected—it’s nearly BLACK, and a real
Elvis Presley-type black at that! I’ve washed my hair about 40
times, and the stuff won’t come out. I feel completely ridiculous,
and worst of all, the color doesn’t make me look any younger; in
fact, I look like an old fool who dyes his hair!
I know I have to go to a salon to get this fixed,
but can you please tell me what to expect?
Thanks for your help,
Elvis NOT Wannabe”
Answer
“Darling E---
Well, you’ve gone and done it now, haven’t you? Instead of
feeling a little silly for a little while, you’ll be feeling a lot
sillier for a lot longer.
Women have known this for years, and I will pass it on to you: the
older you get, the less you can get away with a hard, harsh color next
to your skin.
But since you’ve already done the deed, you DO need to go to a
salon. Put on a baseball cap and walk right in there. What should you
expect? Expect a LOT of laughter. But after they stop laughing, they
can help you. They will probably start by applying a product that
strips the hair of the color completely. Then,
depending on how badly you’ve damaged your hair, they can apply a
softer color. At any rate, they can keep you from looking like Elvis
Returns.
Best of luck!
The Diva”
Well, babies, that’s it for now. The Diva wishes you all happy
and heavenly short hair days.
TaaaTaa
The Diva
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