September 14, 2005
Brushing Tangled Locks?

Dear Karen, 

My little girl has beautiful hair that I have let grow as long as possible. Although it is fairly straight at the top near the roots it has a mixture of waves and curls at the ends. Her hair develops a series of tangles and slight knots every single day.  No matter what I try to do, when I try to get the knots out, she cries and gets very upset. When I don't deal with the tangles and knots on a daily basis, they seem to get so much worse. 

Do you have any suggestions?  I am beyond frustrated.

Brush Challenged Mom

Answer

Dear Mom,

There is nothing worse than trying to comb or brush tangles out of a head of hair that is attached to a tender scalp.  While there are a variety of detangling steps you can try, keep in mind that you will have to develop a plan that works best for you and your daughter. 

Some possible detangling options include:

1.  Use a moisturize enhancing or infusing shampoo that you dilute with water when you wash your daughter's hair. 

Lack of moisture encourages hair to tangle and knot up.  Full strength strength shampoo formulas may be too drying for your daughter's tangle-prone tresses. 

2.  Experiment with a dilution of 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon of shampoo mixed in one quart of lukewarm water to create suds.  Make sure that your daughter's hair is very wet before applying the shampoo.  Drizzle the shampoo over the top of your daughters hair and let the suds gently run down the length of her strands.  Gently pat the suds into her hair.  Rinse well.

Another hidden cause of tangles is an invisible film of shampoo that may coat your daughter's strands. 

3.  Use a rinse-out conditioner. 

Apply a liberal amount to your daughter's strands with your fingers avoiding the root section to avoid the development of excessive oils.  Allow the conditioner to remain on her strands for 2-5 minutes.

4.  Rinse well with water. If your daughter can handle it, do a final rinse with cool water to help seal the newly added conditioner into the cuticle and help add shine.

5.  Towel blot and make sure to never rub the strands with a rough towel.

6.  On damp strands apply a good leave-in conditioning detangling spray, cream or mousse.  Apply the detangling product to the palms of your hands and then massage the product into your daughter's hair with your fingers.  Apply product liberally to the sections of hair that tangle and knot up the most. 

As an option you may wish to create a custom "cocktail" of product that includes a leave-in conditioner and a detangler.

As you are applying the detangling product, use your finger to "pick" out any obvious knots or tangles. 

Never use a brush on wet or damp strands.  Hair is most fragile at this point.

7.  Continue to "finger pick" the detangling products through the strands.  Once the strands are well coated with the detangler, use a wide tooth comb or pick and starting at the bottom, gently detangle any remaining knots or tangles. 

Always work from the bottom of the strands up towards the top.  to prevent tugging and pulling, use one hand to anchor the hair at the middle of your daughter's head while you detangle the bottom strands.  By anchoring the hair with your free hand, it will minimize pulling on the scalp.

8.  Once you have detangled all of the damp hair, let hair air dry, if possible.

9.  If your daughter's hair gets knotted during the day consider applying a light film of jojoba, sesame or similar oil to her strands and then gently pulling them into a three strand braid.  If you braid her hair, make sure that it is not pulled too tight against the scalp or this could potentially cause problems later.  A soft three strand braid that keeps the hair together would be ideal.

10. Always use a "hair friendly" elastic covered band to create braids or ponytails rather than a rubber band which can break and tear delicate strands.

11.  Experiment with some styles that your daughter will enjoy and will minimize daytime tangling. 

Some options include wrapping her hair into a soft bun held in place with tiny ouchless barrettes or bobby pins.  Ballerina buns are always very cute and easy to do.  A simple pony tail can also help by keeping hair from flying freely and inviting knots.

12.  At the end of the day if your daughter's hair is still tangled, apply a tiny bit of jojoba, almond or sesame oil to the palms of your hands and distribute through your palms and fingers.  Use your oiled fingers and hands to "finger pick" the knots and tangles from her hand.  Again, start at the bottom and work up towards the roots.  Avoid applying the oil to the root area.

It is best to avoid using a brush or comb to initially remove the tangles or knots.  Using your fingers will help to untangle any loose snags first.

Once you have detangled as much as possible with your fingers and hands, use a smooth surface wide tooth comb or pick.  Again, work from the bottom up towards the top of the head.  To avoid pulling on the scalp, use your free hand to anchor the hair near the middle of your daughter's head.

Other options include:

1.  Using only an authentic or similar style boar's bristle head brush on your daughter's strands.  Avoid any plastic brushes with balls on the ends.  The balls can get caught in the snags and rip delicate hair.  Also, plastic brush bristles can scratch delicate scalps.

2.  Use a high quality comb that has a tortoise shell like covering that will be less prone to rip and tear hair.

3.  If you put your daughter's hair into a ponytail to help minimize tangles try detangling the pony hair first before removing the elastic band.

4.  To avoid potential pulling on the scalp when removing ponytails, consider buying inexpensive pony elastics like Blax and then using a scissors to cut them off rather than pulling them off.  Blax or similar brands are very inexpensive and most celebrity hairdressers cut them off to avoid pulling out delicate strands.

5.  If your rebraid your daughter's hair during the day because it becomes loose, consider apply a tiny bit of jojoba or similar oil to your hands and lightly smoothing the oil through the strands before you braid.  Not only will this help to hold the hair more firmly in place but it will help to coat the strands and prevent easy knotting.

6.  Teach your daughter to detangle her own strands as much as possible.  When children experience the detangling at their own hands, they can often help guide you with future snag removal.

7.  Have your daughter sleep on a satin or silk pillowcase which helps keeps hair from tangling or getting knotted at night.

8.  Make sure that her hair is kept trimmed so that any split ends that might add to the tangling, are removed.

Nothing bonds a parent and child more than the time spent dealing with the child's hair.  Use this opportunity to make hair grooming a special ritual so that your daughter always cherishes the time you take with her. 

Best wishes 
Karen

September 4, 2005
Tension Headaches From Ponytail?

Question

Dear Karen, 

By submitting your question, you grant HairBoutique.com  permission to publish it. Due to the volume of mail we receive, Karen regrets that she cannot respond to every question. To Ask Karen your questions send e-mail to askkaren@hairboutique.com