August 30, 2000
Locks Of Love - Am I Being Selfish?
Question
Dear Karen,
You seem like such a nice person from
everything I have seen you write at HairBoutique.com. I have a
problem and I am feeling really terrible about it. I also have read
that you are a professional women in your 40s and have very long
hair.
I have naturally dark blonde hair to my
knees. It is thick and healthy and I take very good care of
it. In fact, I want to tell you that I think HairBoutique.com
has the best long hair tips and styles and information that I have
ever seen anywhere. Other sites advertise that they have long
hair styling information, but nothing even close to what you
offer.
At any rate, I am 45 and a lawyer in the
South. My sister told me that I look too old with long hair
and that I don't look professional enough. She said that I
need to cut my hair at least to collar length.
I have resisted all of her comments until about
2 weeks ago. She gave me an article about a charity group in
Florida that is called Locks Of Love. The article mentions
that this charity takes donations of long hair for children that are
suffering from diseases that have rendered them bald.
My sister told me that I should be a good
person and donate my hair and that it is time for me to improve my
professional image. Quite frankly Karen, I don't want to do
this because I love my hair.
I did a search on Locks of Love on your site
and did not find anything. I know that you donate to breast
cancer and believe in charities but I am wondering if you have any
information on Locks of Love and if you think I am being selfish for
wanting to keep my hair.
Thanks.
Jayne
Answer
Dear Jayne,
First let me thank you for the nice things you said about
HairBoutique.com. We do try very hard to provide as much
information about hair of all types, lengths and for all types of
people. Yes, I do have a soft spot for long hair because I
have very long hair that I have been growing for years. You
are right, I am in my 40s and am President/CEO of a software company
in addition to running HairBoutique.com.
I mostly wear my hair down below my waist and it doesn't seem to
matter. My business customers seem most concerned with the
software that my company manufacturers and less concerned about my
hair length.
You letter makes me sad because I get so many that are
similar. So many women with long hair are pushed, prodded and
bullied into cutting their hair by a variety of "well
meaning" friends, relatives and associates. I could go on
for quite some time about this but will cut to the chase and tell
you to listen only to your heart about your hair. It is YOUR
hair. It is your body and your life. Do what makes you
feel best about you.
You are correct, I do not purposely have any information on
HairBoutique.com about the Locks of Love organization. I do
not personally believe that Locks of Love is completely open with
the public about how they run their organization. Yes, I
believe strongly in charitable causes. HairBoutique.com and my
other company, T&S Software have both donated as much as they
could afford to the breast cancer cause. HairBoutique.com is
currently sponsoring Tricia Brown in her 60 mile Avon walk in
October. We have donated 10% of the profits from our store
during May and are doing so again in September.
It is my personal opinion that there are still a lot of unknowns
about Locks of Love. One thing that concerns me personally is
that even though a very large number of people send their hair to
Locks of Love every year, only a very small percentage of that hair
is reportedly used on wigs for children. What happens to the
rest of that hair? It is hard to say and I don't believe that
the Locks of Love organization has fully disclosed enough of what
they do with the "leftover" hair to be satisfied with
their answers.
I encourage people to do what they believe is right but I also
encourage people to research the facts before they make a donation
of any sort whether it be hair or money. So many people
believe that they are donating their beloved hair to a cause and
that it will become a wig for a hairless child when that may not
even be close to the reality. Since the Locks of Love organization
does not disclose as much information as I believe they should, it
is hard to really know what happens to hair that is not used for
wigs for children.
I have gotten several emails over the past 3 years from people
who have accused me of being selfish for not considering donating my
hair to Locks of Love. I tell people who try to bully me
into donating my hair that I generously give to worthy charities
that I believe are honest and addressing a cause that is close to my
heart.
Tell your sister that you will make a financial donation in her
name to any charity that she would like and to back off about your
hair. It is your hair. You grew it and it is yours to
enjoy.
I wish the very best.
Karen
PS. Portia de Rossi plays an attorney on Ally McBeal and
looks stunning in a variety of buns. Check it out.
August 22, 2000
Use Of LongLocks Hairsticks
Question
Dear Karen,
WOW. I am amazed at the beautiful LongLocks
hairsticks that you have started carrying in your Marketplace. I
would love to wear the sticks but I don't have long hair like
you. My hair is only to the top of my bra strap. Any
suggestions on how to get my hair to grow faster so I can own a lovely
pair of those sticks?
Janie
Answer
Dear Janie,
Hairsticks can be worn EITHER as a functional hairtool OR as purely
decoration. Many people are not aware of the fact that over 75%
of all hairstick wearers are not using the sticks to hold their hair
in place. They are only using the sticks as decoration for their
hairstyles.
One thing I should point out about the Shelley Pryor Gallery that
was designed around the LongLocks sticks. None of the styles
that Shelley created for our model Jill used the sticks as either
functional anchors or as types of pins.
Because Jill had very thick hair the sticks would not hold Jill's
hair in place. Shelley had to use blonde colored hair pins to
keep Jill's gorgeous blonde hair in place. Once Shelley got the
hair style the way she wanted, she used the hairsticks as
decorations. They looked stunning.
Jill only has hair that is bra length and this was the first time
she realized that she could wear hairsticks without using them to hold
her hair in place. She was thrilled. In fact, even though
HairBoutique.com offered to pay Jill for her hair modeling work, she
choose to take two sets of LongLocks lacquer hairsticks in trade
instead. Two of the sets in Jill's hair for many of the photos
are now her prize possessions and she loves them.
As far as making your hair grow faster, there are not
secrets. Hair, when it is healthy, will grow at approximately
1/2 to 1 inch per month. A lot depends on your biological
composition. Taking hair vitamins like H37 will help encourage
healthy hair which then can grow to its maximum potential.
Best wishes,
Karen
August 10, 2000
Should I Tip At The Salon?
Question
Dear Karen,
I noticed today at my new salon that there was
a glass Ball jar on my stylist's station that was marked
"Tips". I was a little freaked out because I had
never seen this before. I have never tipped my stylist before
and now that I have a new stylist I want to do the right thing but I
feel uncomfortable. How much do I tip and can I just add the
tip on to my final check? Do I need to tip more than my
stylist? Should I tip the owner of the salon?
Help Please.
Marge
Answer
Dear Marge,
Before I even cover the pros and cons of tipping I want to point
out that tipping is a very personal thing. I encourage
everyone to follow their own heart and make their own decisions
regarding tipping. There is no right or wrong way to tip.
Although there are established guidelines, ultimately you have the
final decision about whether you tip or not and how much.
Now that I have said that, I should also mention
that tipping has always been full of lots of controversy in any
service field that accepts tips.
My own personal view is that tipping allows me to
vote with my wallet. When I get good service I like to show
appreciation. I believe that it not only shows my thanks it also
builds good karma. Remember, what you give, you get.
Tipping can always be confusing. Who do you
tip, when do you tip and what do you do if you get rotten service?
It is always best in any situation to know when and where a gratuity
is appropriate and/or expected and then know what is the appropriate
range to give.
Whether you share my tipping philosophy or not,
there are some standard rules of thumb for proper tipping in the
hair salon/spa world.
Depending on the quality of service you can tip at
either end of the "acceptable tipping scale."
When your stylist works on your hair and goes out of
their way to really do a great job you may want to tip above the
standard and acceptable 15-20% range. The current rule of
thumb in the salon/spa industry is to tip15 to 20% for everyone that
does something for you. In some salons or spas you will have
one person shampoo your hair, one person cut it and one person style
it. You may also have a separate colorist who does different
things for your hair than your stylist.
If your stylist keeps your waiting, doesn't do a
good job with your hair or ignores your concerns, you have the
choice of not tipping anything or tipping a bare minimum. The
choice is up to you. Remember, tipping is always
optional.
If you have a bad experience with your stylist take
into consideration whether your experience was a random event.
If your stylist is normally tops you may want to consider the fact
that they might be having a bad day and give them the benefit of the
doubt.
Yes, it is true that if the stylist also owns the
salon/spa you don't have to tip. While you are not expected to
tip and really don't have to, if your stylist/salon owner does a
fabulous job for you, fits you in during an emergency hair disaster,
or always does little extras for you, reward them either with the
customary 15-20% of your bill or some other show of appreciation.
If you feel funny giving the stylist/owner a cash
reward, pick up a gift of some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, a
fruit basket or a huge bouquet of flowers and give it to your
stylist. They will love the fact that you are showing your
appreciation.
When it comes to building good prosperity karma it
is always best to think big in both spirit and money.
Yes, there are always exceptions and questions.
What do you tip your stylist's young assistant that takes your coat
and runs around the corner to get you an ice cold drink? A
couple of bucks will work and you don't need to tip on the 15-20%
unless you are feeling really generous. If you are not sure what is
appropriate you can discreetly ask at the desk what the customary
tip is.
It is also customary to tip the shampoo person and
$2-3 is generally a nice tip unless you are in an unusually high
priced setting and then the tip should be scaled to your
environment.
Not all salons/spas have doorman or car valets, but
when they do, you should consider giving them a tip as
well.
If tipping really makes you uncomfortable you have
the option of buying your stylist a really nice Christmas
gift. You can even tell your stylist that you wanted to show
your appreciation for all the things they do for you and you bought
them a nice gift.
What works? A nice bottle of wine, a gift
basket or even gift certificates work well. My own stylist is
addicted to Starbucks. Every year I give her a special set of coupon
books for her favorite lattes. She loves it because it shows that I
have taken the time to know what she likes and also that I
appreciate the great care she takes with my hair.
If you prefer, you can add your tip to your final
check and ask your stylist to distribute it appropriately. Or
you can put tips in separate envelopes marked for each person and
leave them at the front desk.
When in doubt ask the front desk, your stylist or
even the salon manager.
Best wishes,
Karen
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