Not buying it, are ya?

Be that as it may, there is a bunch of good stuff this month and lots of pictures. Though there is no special section on either, but there are some tidbits from both the Grammies and SAG Awards scattered throughout the column. And, before you ask, no, I have no idea what movie role would require Helen Hunt to dye her hair white and put it in those bizarre braids. The movie version of "Xena: Albino Princess" maybe? But I digress.

Anyway, this thing is long enough without my mindless babbling in the introduction. On to the mindless babbling in the column...

Updates

BRITNEY SPEARS' hair has become my version of the "Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionare?" fiasco.  I really don't want to keep reporting on it, but  stuff keeps happening that I feel like I need to pass along.  I mean, I'm just as disinterested in the fact that Britney has gotten another slightly shorter cut as I am that Bob Guccione is trying to get Darva Conger to pose for Penthouse, but just as "Entertainment Tonight" feels obligated to report on the latter, I feel required to report on the former.  Oh, well, them's the breaks.  So, to fulfill my duty to you, the faithful reader, I must report that Britney has cut off another couple of inches to bring her 'do up to a legitimate chin-length bob.  And, before you ask, yes, those were, once again, extensions she wore at the Grammys.  Still wondering why this whole extension thing is starting to drive me nuts?  

Before	The REAL After	The "extended" After

FLEA'S CALL:   Ok, Britney's bob doesn't look bad, but I don't think that's the issue here.  My question is why the heck did she do it?  I mean she had it cut shorter just a few days before the Grammies only to wear extensions to the awards to simulate the long hair she had a few months ago before she started slowly going shorter.  Everyone else that's wearing extensions is doing it to either jump ahead in the growth process or to have long hair for a bit while retaining their current style.  Britney is literally the only person I can think of that keeps wearing extensions as she goes shorter.  I truly don't get it.  Anyone know what I must be missing here?

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Speaking of extensions, CHARLIZE THERON has jumped on the bandwagon as well.  Charlize, who has been growing her hair back since going ultra short  to a pixie a year or so ago, has, in reality, grown her re-blonded tresses back to a chin-length, layered bob.  However, that apparently wasn't long enough, so either for personal reasons or a movie role she has added another foot of hair in the form of extensions.  Charlize now has (say it with me), stick-straight, center-parted, long hair with wispy ends that falls about six inches below her shoulders.  She has however, in a break from convention, retained her bangs, which now cover her eyebrows.  

Her real hair	Her "extended" hair

FLEA'S CALL:  I think you know what I'm going to write here, don't you?  Let's see if you are right.  Look at the "before" picture and now look at the "after".  Do you believe I'll say: A) The bob looked terrific on her and there seems to be no rational reason that she needed to get extensions B) The new longer hair is sleek, fashionable, and complimentary or C) She looked best with either the red shag she had in "Reindeer Games" or the brunette bob with baby bangs whe wore last Fall.  If you answered "A", then you are indeed a loyal reader and/or have a fine and discerning taste in hairstyles.  If you answered "B", you either haven't been paying attention, have been brainwashed by the fashion magazines, or have a broken link to the second picture and are just making a guess.  And, if you answered "C", you should probably just skim the rest of the column because I know your Internet time is pretty limited there at the hospital.

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Finally, an update with some good news and it comes, amazingly enough, in the form of HOLLY HUNTER.  As longtime readers know, I've been hounding Holly since she went for an ill-advised short cut about a year ago.  Not that Holly can't wear short hair, but her 'do back then was a hacked mess.  Fortunately, not too long after that, she did start letting it grow.  Now, it has grown back to shoulder-length in a long shagish style, though the layers are quite long and lightly done.

The hack	Growing...	Now

FLEA'S CALL:  Do you really need me to tell you how good this looks?  I mean, it's not only flattering, but makes her look younger as well.  Even if this style didn't come at the end of a long recovery period from horrible cut, I'd still think it was adorable.  Yeah, I know, I can't believe I used "adorable" either, but, darn it, it fits.  Think of it as the more expressive version of "cute". 

A Second Look

Found a slightly better picture of COURTNEY COX ARQUETTE's newly layered version of her long style.  As I said before, it's amazing what a difference a few well placed layers can make, plus they finally dispel that mental picture of Morticia Adams I was getting whenever I saw her.  And it looks even better when she lets it go wavy (as you can see on the cover of this month's "Madmoiselle").
 

On a more depressing note, I also happened upon a better photo of ALICIA SILVERSTONE and her scraggly-looking brown 'do with the unflattering bangs that, while not completely awful, does make her look 13.  So, I guess "better picture" is actually a relative term.  As I said last month, I'm really not sure where she is going with this, but hopefully it's back to the salon.  Hmmm...I guess that would be the kind of catty comment that made some of you think I was a woman, huh?
 

Ok, is it me or is SHARON STONE's new "blunt" style (her description, not mine) look different everytime she appears in public?  Given the fact that she appears to be keeping her bangs and letting the rest grow, I'm assuming that her end goal her is a return to a version of a bob, especially since she is now keeping the nape very short. 

In the meantime, however, when she styles it the wrong way she bears a frightening resemblance to Brother Theodore. 

How's that for Dennis Miller reference? =)
 

Snippets

I have a bit of update news as a result of the Grammys.  First, GLORIA ESTEFAN seems to have let her new short cut evolved into a Meg Ryan-ish choppy bob.  And that's not a good thing.  At least the industrial strength dark red color she is putting on it currently tends to distract you from just how unflattering the cut is.  Or maybe not  v  Second, it appears that pop songstress (Is that really a word, btw?  "Songstress"?  When did "singer" become passé?  But I digress) MONICA has let the super short crop she adopted a few months ago grow back out a bit.  It's still short, she's now wearing it fuller with the length appearing to fall to about mid-ear if it wasn't flipped out.  Much better, IMHO, since I thought the previous cut was too severe on her.

Let's turn to the good, the bad, and the ugly of blondes.  First the good blonde in the form of GERI HALLIWELL, the former Slutty, er, Sexy Spice.  Her blonde hair (which is almost certainly augmented with extensions) now falls close to waist-length.  Though I'm not fan of hers or extensions (hey, that last part is a shock, eh?), I really do think this is a good look for her.  I can't really say why, but the extra long blonde locks just seem to fit   v

The bad blonde was ANGELICA BRIDGES, who inexplicably traded her trademark red locks for the generic L.A. blonde look.  Either the changes must have been for a film role or Angelica realized her mistake, because her long locks are once again a deep auburn hue.  Looks much better and allows her to regain her uniqueness amongst the B-movie bimbos.  And I mean that in the best possible way   v  And, as much as it pains me to label her this way, the ugly would be KIRSTIE ALLEY.  I couldn't ever find a picture when she originally went blonde about six months or so ago and soon gave up because it was just old news.  However, after running across the photo at left, I just had to bring it up again if for no other reason than to say that, whereas before, it was horrible, it's now long and horrible.  I don't get it.  What's wrong with going back to brunette?
 

Lauren Holly picture courtesy The Star; Britney Spears pictures courtesy Reuters; Charlize Theron pictures courtesy Hollywood.Com and Reuters; Holly Hunter pictures courtesy The Rosie O'Donnell Show, Reuters, and Hollywood.Com; Courteney Cox Arquette and Alicia Silverstone pictures courtesy Hollywood.Com; Sharon Stone pictures courtesy NBC and Reuters; Monica picture courtesy The Star; Geri Halliwell and Angelica Bridges pictures courtesy Reuters; Kirstie Alley picture courtesy Hollywood.Com